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Thursday, April 28, 2005

It ain't all good in my 'hood...but don't worry Ma, I got mace.

Prior to living here, the worst place I ever lived in was Honolulu. I know, life is rough, right? Not so fast. I slept on the living room floor of a tiny, old one-bedroom apartment in a really ugly apartment complex. To make matters worse, one of my neighbors had weekly domestics, and another were a group of unemployed alcoholics who sat in their backyard and taunted me as I left for work each day. I had 2 brand new bikes and 2 scooters stolen during that time, with one of those scooters being less than a week old before it got snatched.

However, the city I live in now takes the cake. Before we bought the house we live in now, we lived in a older neighborhood where we were bothered daily by 4-5 obnoxious, rusted, decrepit ice cream trucks (possibly imported from Sarajevo) that blared ear-shattering music all day long. We made exception for the corn man though, yes, the corn man (you get my point now?). His bicycle horn was no where near as loud. And his corn rocked. We also had our house infested by fleas not once, but twice. Mind you, we have no pets. And we bathe daily. With soap. I was told its because of all the strays in the neighborhood and that it happens whenever the weather warms up.

Our town is not very big. There's about 140,000 people and it doesn't cover a large area. Yet over the last month, I read that there were 9 shootings in the last 10 days. Yesterday there was an attempted abduction at an elementary school. They also just arrested a car thief ring. The thieves would call people selling used cars and go their homes to see the car. They would then tie up the victims, beat them, steal the car and sell it in Mexico. My brother's friend was standing about 200 yards from our current home (which is in a nice neighborhood) and had a gun held to his head because he tried to call the police to report a girl gang fight.

Every week we seem to read about some lunatic who steals a car and leads the police on a rampage through the city. I used to walk the city (stubbornly, I've stopped) until I was stopped not once, but twice by a police blockade looking for someone, was chased by a pitbull (I was saved by jumping up on an electrical box, thank you Kaiser Permanente), and leered at by some dirty old man in his car about three times in 30 minutes. What sealed it all was when I went on Megan's Law and tapped in our address, and found that there are 16 convicted sex offenders living within a square mile of our home. One of them is a few hundred yards away. Yikes.

Even though many of the above factors clearly indicate we live in a bad town, Joseph pointed out that the most telling sign that our town blows, was when he sighted a 1980's model Econoline van with gold spinners. Beat that story bitches!

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