Whew...after hearing about the shocking, devastating breakup of Paris & Paris over the weekend, I didn't think anything could get me to feel at one with the world again.
Thankfully, the beauty of Palm Springs rejuvenated me! Well, that and a minor risk I took a few days ago that paid off- I got a new bathing suit on Ebay! If you're wondering why this is a risk, you gotta remember- I'm chubby. AND CHEAP. FYI- cheap, chubby people DO NOT buy clothes sight unseen. But I had no choice. I'd been hunting for weeks to find a new suit to replace my granny one but all the stores were already out, so I turned to Ebay. Even the ones online were about $35, but I got incredibly lucky and got a brand new Tommy Hilfiger one for a whopping $8.24, including shipping!!!
I would post a picture of myself modeling it, but really...I don't want to break up happy marriages or provide too much tempation for all you hot, single guys (or gals too...I tend to have that effect on straight women). I am sure there are plenty of folks out there who are really, really digging a manic, chubby, self-absorbed Asian girl with a tendency to hoard.
So relaxing in Palm Springs and my new bathing suit have made me very happy- which means that Roy has reaped the benefits of my newfound benevolent nature. When he got home tonight at 8:30 he was served a candle light dinner of shrimp cocktail, barbecue ribs, and some freshly made peanut butter cookies. And boy did I get a special thank you (though really, it should be private...wink wink, I don't mind sharing it with you all)- I got to wash all his dirty dishes!!! The minute after he wolfed all his food down, he grabbed his pink highlighter and buried his nose in a textbook. Though he WAS kind enough to show me what he was studying- in this case, it was a slide by slide pictorial of a woman giving birth. All I can say after having seen it is this:
#1- If I ever give birth someday, I'm scheduling an appointment for a Brazilian wax BEFORE the big day. How embarassing.
And #2- The placenta is gross. When it came out, I thought it was the head of an unexpected decapitated twin. Roy informed me otherwise. Eew. Mad props to you fathers who watched this voluntarily.
3 comments:
Maybe you could request to not be in the delivery room when you are giving birth. That way you wouldn't have to see or worse yet smell the placenta! Sherry said that was the worst part..the smell!
When it is your baby the delivery room is quiet, peaceful and smells like flowers. Acually, you do need to ignore that screaming women, but all else is peaceful and flowery.
I love your blog!
I remember saying that to another girl when I was younger but oddly enough weblogs hadn't been invented yet and the outcome of that exchange was decidedly different.
1. When your due date comes close..hair is the least of your worries...getting that enormous creature out before you start killing small animals is all that matters and
2. Don't look...I've had 3 never seen it once..yuck! I told them to take the mirror away I can feel it..don't need to see it
love your blog too ...u crack me up
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