Cutie pie

The red hawk (mom) and gray eagle (dad) have left the building!!!

My parents returned home to Kona on Monday and have officially left Roy and I on our own. So far, so good- Ryan continues to be an angel.

A few more pics of the little guy- the top one is of him in his Bumbo, and the bottom one is of him wearing daddy's glasses (I sure hope we haven't blinded the child in our attempt to get a few chuckles). Not that the poor child has much of a chance for decent vision anyway- daddy is farsighted and mommy is nearsighted. And both had to wear glasses pretty much as soon as they exited the womb.

I can, however, promise him that unlike daddy (who had to wear thick, brown Coke-bottle glasses as a 4-year old) or mommy (who wore PINK tortoise shell frames as a 5th grader and therefore went even more blind since she promptly took them off the minute she was out of her own mother's eyesight each day at school), he will NOT have to look like a dork. If it means we'll have the first 4-month old on Earth wearing contact lenses or Armani frames, then so be it. And if he DOES have to wear glasses, his paranoid Uncle Joseph will also make sure that he does NOT get forced into wearing the elastic band around the back of his head that attaches to his glasses (yes, like the one Kareem Abdul Jabbar and the special-ed kids wore in the 70s) to ensure that they do not fall off his head. Because to this day, Uncle Joseph claims that that scars him.

At this point, I'm thinking Ryan looks and acts a whole lot more like daddy than his mommy. Which means that while he's gonna be competely bald by age 10, at least he'll be mathematically and scientifically inclined...and have skinny thighs. Lucky little dude.

Hot & Sexy as ever

I swore I would never become that stay-at-home-mom-in-sweatpants before I had Ryan. However, at this point, all I'm missing is the ratty pink bathrobe and haircurlers, because I look like HELL. Even before I got pregnant, back when I had a rewarding, full-time career and was one half of a crazy, wild and free (again...just play along with me on this one) childless couple- I was far from glamorous. No make up, no hairstyle to speak of (unless you consider the dull, dried out "I color my hair at home because I'm too cheap to pay a salon to do it" look to be fashionable) and for crying out loud- I drove a mini van. So one would think I wouldn't have too much further to sink now that I have a baby.

Ha.

Because where I once would have described myself as only 'slightly to moderately unkempt,' I currently sport a look that is best described as a cross between Rosie O'Donnell and a slutty Britney Spears. But with Asian features.

First off, I'm carrying around all that extra pregnancy weight (and therefore still wearing all my stretched out, faded maternity clothes). I also just found pieces of soy nugget crumbs all over my chest. And because I'm so sleep deprived, I've also stopped coloring my hair regularly, so the roots are now showing. And most notably- because my bigger, plumper, unattractive 'mom boobs' (complete with dried milk stuck on them...eew) are still soooo damned sore, I have been forced to wear a fairly revealing, thin, light lingerie top 24/7-which honestly, is not a pretty picture. I figure I'll pull myself together in time to go back to work in 6 weeks, but for now, I'm stuck in a very ugly place.

Below are a few pics of daddy 'watching' the baby. The first is of Roy playing PS2's American Idol karaaoke, and the second one is of Roy serenading his son with the guitar.

Ryan Seacrest II

Yes, yes...every parent thinks their child is the cutest thing on Earth...but psssst! Ryan really is the cutest thing on Earth! Check him out in his supa fly duds.

The top picture is of him modeling a trendy little onesie we received from a friend (a hand-me-down we both fell in love with) that I cut and sewed into a t-shirt. And boy was all that painstaking, detailed stiching worth it- since he wore it exactly ONE time before he outgrew it! (I've since put him on a diet. He's not eating for a week.)

The bottom one is of him modeling one of two Aloha shirts he received (you can tell from his huge smile that he just loooves wearing 'real' clothes since his tired momma usually just rotates the same two pajama tops on him). ;-)

The Fockers

Happy Fathers Day, Roy!!!

Love,
Ryan

(who plans to go to med school, you know...so he can be a 'real' doctor)

Bocha time!

I'm alive! Just tired. I can't believe that one tiny baby requires the full attention of two adults at all times. Brutal.

Here's a quick pic of Ryan at bathtime this evening (Roy said it looks like his first Klan photo).

We've also been busy buying a more gas-efficient car (an '09 Corolla Sport). My dad flew into town to help negotiate the deal. He loves that kind of stuff. He's the kinda guy (you know the type) who somehow finaggles the car for under dealer invoice price AND gets an extended warranty and two years of free oil changes thrown in (not to mention an invite to the salesmen's barbecue that Friday night). I swear, just before we drove off in our new car I thought the salesman was going to cry as he tearfully hugged my father goodbye. People just love the man. He has so much personality. As another case in point, while my dad was here, he also befriended our neighbor Lenny (the one who has politely waved to us every single day for four years but has never actually said anything other than "Your lawn looks beau-tiful!" to us). Within minutes of chatting up Lenny, my father not only knew the names of Lenny's five kids and three great grandkids (we didn't even know Lenny had five kids), but had also been taken on not one, but TWO tours of Lenny's large home. He did all of this in between detailing both of ours cars inside and out (eight hours folks...he spent eight hours detailing two cars, one of which is brand new) AND diligently restoring our poor, neglected front and back yard to English-manor status.

My mother, on the other hand, has been busy feeding/changing the baby for me during much of the day since I'm always pumping and stumbling around from sleep deprivation. However, my parents just left for a much-deserved mini vacation yesterday. They're staying at some pimped out boutique hotel in Scottsdale for three nights, and then the Palms in Vegas for two nights (think MTV's Real World...the Playboy nightclub...Rain). I'm more than a little jealous...how is it that their young, swingin' 33-year old is stuck at home with a pooping infant while her parents are tossing down tequila shots at Ghostbar?

Once they return they'll stay with us for a week before returning back to Kona. Roy has put in for six weeks off once they leave so Ryan's fragile mother doesn't have a nervous breakdown trying to take care of him all by herself (I've learned that having a full-time, demanding, professional career is inifinitely easier to manage than a weepy 4-week old).

PS- I'm officially chubby again. After losing the initial 17-lbs. in a week and a half, I have not lost a single ounce since then. I want to beat up all those other moms who claim breastfeeding just magically MELTS AWAY the pounds!!! (Then again, they probably don't go to Chili's and order chips and queso, a greasy burger and fries and then snack all day long.)

Ry's 1st Sexy Centerfolds!!!

Contrary to what his daddy always says ("Fester is not a show pony!"), I think these photos of him depict quite the opposite, don't you think?

Though Ryan looks very peaceful and serene in these photos, this is regrettably not the case between 12-6am each evening. As a result, between his feedings, diaper changes, burping and my pumping, I'm only getting about 4 hours of sleep per night. The funny thing is- I've gotten used to it and no longer feel quite so tired/overwhelmed/disoriented.

On the health and fitness homefront- after week #1, I was down about 15 pounds. And after a week and a half, I was down about 17 pounds (you can only imagine the giddiness this brought me). However, over the past 3-4 days, that number has not changed. Which means my tired, lazy behind now has to lose 16 pounds on my own. :-( Whatever happenned to breastfeeding melting off those pounds? How will I ever get back my pre-pregnancy bikini bod in just 40 days? Drinking organic wheatgrass and sweating through 3 spin classes a day?! 'Cause that's sooo not gonna happen. While I did manage to get my butt out the door for a few walks (three), they've averaged being a mile and half long each since my butt still aches and I get light headed.

In other news...as if my chronic butt and boob pain were not enough, I have somehow also managed to develop carpal tunnel syndrome in both wrists.

How to get carpal tunnel syndrome in just 5 days!

1. Be a complete and utter failure in trying to get your little showpony to latch onto your breast(s).

2. Have to begin pumping to make up for it...each time furiously massaging each breast manically with your hands (think mammogram strength squishing!) in a paranoid effort to squeeze every last drop out.

:-(