I've only been gone for 6 years, but now that I'm back, I suddenly see things in a whole new perspective. As an example, the other day I went to a big box retailer and could not find 50% of the things on my list. Nothing complicated mind you, just a few basic things to furnish our new digs. However, what I DID find was an entire row dedicated to rice cookers. So if you happen to need a rice cooker that can walk, talk and bathe the dog- we got 'em here...but if you need a shower caddy or some curtain rods, well, you're sh** outta luck folks! ;-)
The other thing I've suddenly become aware of is the lack of good radio stations. In So Cal, it was radio station heaven. You could rock out to just about any kind of music 24-7. But out here (cue the banjo twanging), I've found exactly one halfway decent radio station on the island. And though this particular radio station repeatedly claims to play the hits of 'today and tomorrow' they're playing the EXACT same slow Hawaiian love songs I didn't like six years ago (but sadly enough, can still sing along to).
Lest you think I am bashing island life, I assure you- I am not. I am faaaar from being Ms. California Sophisticated. Believe me, if you saw where we lived in So Cal- you'd be far from impressed. In fact, I think the only positive thing I ever learned over there was how to duck and roll without shattering my crack pipe.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Safe, sound and sweaty
We're in Kona!
And I call bullsh** on my previous theory of "You only need about three days to get acclimated to the humidity," because it's been three days now- and I'm still sticky from head to toe. This morning I went to open my vitamin container (you know, the one your granny uses with compartments for each day of the week) and I noticed that all our multivitamins were covered in mildew (but did this stop me from taking just one more of them before I tossed the rest of them away?). It did not. But I felt better.
So aside from my failure to acclimate as expeditiously as I'd like, I'm also traumatized by the prices of everything here. You would think having lived in the islands most of my life that I would be used to it, but I swear, prices have really gone up in the last few years. So when I saw things like the box of Spanish rice I used to buy for 99 cents a box at $3.49, a container of Yoplait that we paid 50 cents for at $1.39 (we ate 6 cups a day of that stuff in California), or when I had to pay $2.70 for two flippin' tomatoes...I panicked. All I could see was visions of me squatting on the ground, sifting through the mud and picking out all the little potato bugs so I could make dirt cookies like the ones all the poor people have to eat in Guatemala. Thankfully, a trip to Costco last night allayed a few of my fears, though in my best estimation, food will still cost about 2-3 times more here. But I suppose (sigh), I can just add that to the list...because our car insurance went up $200 every 6 months, and our medical premiums went up another $400 a month. Gas is still at $4.65 a gallon here, and its likely to go up, up and away again given everything that's happenned on Wall Street recently.
Normally I take these things in stride better than Roy (since I'm used to it and a little less tight with a buck), but with losing all of my income and another 10-15% of his, we're looking at trying to get by on about 35% of what we used to. So I'll need a few more days to silently weep and process this, but I swear, I won't be whining about this very much longer since I know how annoying it is.
Ryan has done well with the move. He sat on airplanes for 6 hours on Sunday and did not so much as even whimper. This meant we got to smugly accept the congratulations and praise from all of the previously nervous passengers around us once we landed (I think the two drunks across from us who met on the plane and then kept downing Jack Daniels and cuddling were far more of an entertaining distraction). However, he has begun waking up at 3:15am and flopping around off and on until around 5am. So the move appears to have disturbed his once nightlong slumber, but other than that, he's loving the additional addition he's getting from his cousins and grandparents.
Roy is in some kind of crisis orientation today for work (I would normally make jokes here about him having to chase down and tackle all the looney toons, but he tells me its not approrpriate), so at least we're officially earning some money to help subsize the cost of dirt for our dinner. Otherwise, construction on our place looks to wrap up in about 3 weeks. So if all goes well, we won't be forcing my parents to have to hold their incontinent senior bladders each morning too much longer (we all share one bathroom). Just kidding, ma & pa!
And on that note, can I just say that my #1 reason for never wanting to be a houseguest is because of the how-will-I-ever-get-to-do-a-number-two-in peace issue?!! Lord knows those cans of spray never work! All you do is make the bathroom smell like sickeningly sweet plumerias AND poop! It's ghastly. Gag inducing. In the past I've taken to waiting until the person leaves for work and then sprinting to unload...and if that wasn't an option, then trying to time it so that I went just before I had to take a bath, or once I left their home (i.e. - in a restaurant or a store). But the older I get, the less likely I am to want to go in a McDonalds or Target (since they're all filthy and its just gross). So if anyone has a helpful tip on this issue, please- DO SHARE. Because otherwise I'm just going to be waddling around with a pinched look on my face for another 3 weeks. :-(
And I call bullsh** on my previous theory of "You only need about three days to get acclimated to the humidity," because it's been three days now- and I'm still sticky from head to toe. This morning I went to open my vitamin container (you know, the one your granny uses with compartments for each day of the week) and I noticed that all our multivitamins were covered in mildew (but did this stop me from taking just one more of them before I tossed the rest of them away?). It did not. But I felt better.
So aside from my failure to acclimate as expeditiously as I'd like, I'm also traumatized by the prices of everything here. You would think having lived in the islands most of my life that I would be used to it, but I swear, prices have really gone up in the last few years. So when I saw things like the box of Spanish rice I used to buy for 99 cents a box at $3.49, a container of Yoplait that we paid 50 cents for at $1.39 (we ate 6 cups a day of that stuff in California), or when I had to pay $2.70 for two flippin' tomatoes...I panicked. All I could see was visions of me squatting on the ground, sifting through the mud and picking out all the little potato bugs so I could make dirt cookies like the ones all the poor people have to eat in Guatemala. Thankfully, a trip to Costco last night allayed a few of my fears, though in my best estimation, food will still cost about 2-3 times more here. But I suppose (sigh), I can just add that to the list...because our car insurance went up $200 every 6 months, and our medical premiums went up another $400 a month. Gas is still at $4.65 a gallon here, and its likely to go up, up and away again given everything that's happenned on Wall Street recently.
Normally I take these things in stride better than Roy (since I'm used to it and a little less tight with a buck), but with losing all of my income and another 10-15% of his, we're looking at trying to get by on about 35% of what we used to. So I'll need a few more days to silently weep and process this, but I swear, I won't be whining about this very much longer since I know how annoying it is.
Ryan has done well with the move. He sat on airplanes for 6 hours on Sunday and did not so much as even whimper. This meant we got to smugly accept the congratulations and praise from all of the previously nervous passengers around us once we landed (I think the two drunks across from us who met on the plane and then kept downing Jack Daniels and cuddling were far more of an entertaining distraction). However, he has begun waking up at 3:15am and flopping around off and on until around 5am. So the move appears to have disturbed his once nightlong slumber, but other than that, he's loving the additional addition he's getting from his cousins and grandparents.
Roy is in some kind of crisis orientation today for work (I would normally make jokes here about him having to chase down and tackle all the looney toons, but he tells me its not approrpriate), so at least we're officially earning some money to help subsize the cost of dirt for our dinner. Otherwise, construction on our place looks to wrap up in about 3 weeks. So if all goes well, we won't be forcing my parents to have to hold their incontinent senior bladders each morning too much longer (we all share one bathroom). Just kidding, ma & pa!
And on that note, can I just say that my #1 reason for never wanting to be a houseguest is because of the how-will-I-ever-get-to-do-a-number-two-in peace issue?!! Lord knows those cans of spray never work! All you do is make the bathroom smell like sickeningly sweet plumerias AND poop! It's ghastly. Gag inducing. In the past I've taken to waiting until the person leaves for work and then sprinting to unload...and if that wasn't an option, then trying to time it so that I went just before I had to take a bath, or once I left their home (i.e. - in a restaurant or a store). But the older I get, the less likely I am to want to go in a McDonalds or Target (since they're all filthy and its just gross). So if anyone has a helpful tip on this issue, please- DO SHARE. Because otherwise I'm just going to be waddling around with a pinched look on my face for another 3 weeks. :-(
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I *TOLD* Roy I looked like a man!
Remember when I posted that picture a couple of years ago of when I was really chubby and said I looked like a dude? Well Roy has always told me I was being ridiculous, I was never fat, I still looked pretty, blah blah blah..(you know, all those things loving husbands say when their wives gain about 40 lbs. even though they had NOT yet had a baby).
Anyhoo- so yesterday was sweet vindication that I was in fact, chubby enough in the face that I looked like a man. Because while we were at the rental car agency- wait, can I please first point out that I now know why Dollar Rent a Car is the cheapest agency?! Because they have like four employees. NATION WIDE. We stood in a Disneyland-style line that wrapped around and around for over an HOUR to get our car since they had exactly three clerks...and for all that trouble, we got a little white PT Cruiser. Nice. Even Ryan put down his soggy Mickey Mouse rattle to ask what was up with the old man car.
But I digress. So while we're standing in front of the clerk (I had Ryan in my arms standing on the counter drooling all over me), Roy handed her both of our driver licenses. She quickly looked down at Roy's photo, then back up at him to verify that he was the same person. The clerk then looked down at my license, then looked back up at us and asked (and I quote), "Is he here too?"
I nearly dropped Ryan.
Instead, I dropped my jaw and stared at her. For like FIVE solid seconds. But she still didn't get it. So I pointed down at my picture and semi-screeched at her, "THAT'S ME! YOU MUST THINK I LOOK LIKE A MALE TRANSVESTITE!" At this point Roy began to snicker (he knew I was just messing with the clerk), but the clerk slooooowly began to die.
And furiously backpeddle. "Oh my goodness, dear! I barely even glanced at your picture!" (So what?! Clearly you thought I looked like a MAN.) I continued to stare at her while she wisely chose to shift her focus to Ryan instead. "Oh my! Look at the cute baby! Hello sweetheart!" (You know...the same baby who had been in front of her face for five minutes before that.) "Isn't he just the cutest thing?! He could be in the magazines, I tell you! Isn't he just darling?!" (Darling considering he's from TWO MEN.)
I eventually laughed and let her off the hook (though I'm pret-ty sure she would have rented me a Hummer for 99 cents a day). Moral of the story- Not only do you never ask a chubby woman if she's pregnant, you also need to pay attention to the gender of their driver licenses. Bee-otch.
Anyhoo- so yesterday was sweet vindication that I was in fact, chubby enough in the face that I looked like a man. Because while we were at the rental car agency- wait, can I please first point out that I now know why Dollar Rent a Car is the cheapest agency?! Because they have like four employees. NATION WIDE. We stood in a Disneyland-style line that wrapped around and around for over an HOUR to get our car since they had exactly three clerks...and for all that trouble, we got a little white PT Cruiser. Nice. Even Ryan put down his soggy Mickey Mouse rattle to ask what was up with the old man car.
But I digress. So while we're standing in front of the clerk (I had Ryan in my arms standing on the counter drooling all over me), Roy handed her both of our driver licenses. She quickly looked down at Roy's photo, then back up at him to verify that he was the same person. The clerk then looked down at my license, then looked back up at us and asked (and I quote), "Is he here too?"
I nearly dropped Ryan.
Instead, I dropped my jaw and stared at her. For like FIVE solid seconds. But she still didn't get it. So I pointed down at my picture and semi-screeched at her, "THAT'S ME! YOU MUST THINK I LOOK LIKE A MALE TRANSVESTITE!" At this point Roy began to snicker (he knew I was just messing with the clerk), but the clerk slooooowly began to die.
And furiously backpeddle. "Oh my goodness, dear! I barely even glanced at your picture!" (So what?! Clearly you thought I looked like a MAN.) I continued to stare at her while she wisely chose to shift her focus to Ryan instead. "Oh my! Look at the cute baby! Hello sweetheart!" (You know...the same baby who had been in front of her face for five minutes before that.) "Isn't he just the cutest thing?! He could be in the magazines, I tell you! Isn't he just darling?!" (Darling considering he's from TWO MEN.)
I eventually laughed and let her off the hook (though I'm pret-ty sure she would have rented me a Hummer for 99 cents a day). Moral of the story- Not only do you never ask a chubby woman if she's pregnant, you also need to pay attention to the gender of their driver licenses. Bee-otch.
Monday, September 08, 2008
Mao would not be pleased
So we decided to be capitalist pigs and sell the MTV tickets. It came down to a number of things- we'd already had a full day of goodbye visits planned that we didn't want to rush, we felt bad asking someone to watch Ry for that long, and we wanted to use the cash toward our move and a few other fun things...like these MBT shoes for momma!!! I've been wanting them for months. I kept reading about them, and when a friend of mine who happens to be a Fitness Director at the gym I (used to) work out at highly recommended them, I was sold. The only reason I waited this long was because I was worried that they were too faddish (they've been around for years) and they're kinda pricey (about $260-$300) and we've been so focused on saving for the big move. But now that we've got some windfall money- I'm definitely going to get fitted for a pair. I'm not sure what Roy's getting, but I do know that little Ryan's going to get an exersaucer (thanks again, Brandy!)! If you haven't heard about MBTs (Masai Barefoot Technology), here are a few snippets of their PR:
- In 1997 Swiss Engineer Karl Mueller invented MBT to ease his own back and joint pain. As he had discovered that walking on hard, flat and even surfaces were to blame, he developed a product that transforms the ground into a soft and uneven surface, much like walking in sand. MBT creates a challenging new “terrain” that greatly improves gait and posture, and can reduce shock to the entire skeletal system.
- The results of 10 years of research and development, MBT are not just a shoe in the tradition sense; it is a revolutionary health and fitness aid that literally works from the ground up. Masai Barefoot Technology (MBT) has captured and controlled gravity to improve the overall health and movements of the body. Ordinary shoes create repeated compression with every step, whereas the gentle, rolling action of MBT encourages relaxed, natural stride.
- MBT tightens and tones the feet and ankles, calves, hamstrings, upper and inner thigh, buttocks, stomach and back. As with any new exercise program, MBT challenges and tones the body; do not be surprised if you feel muscles fatigue at first. You will become stronger and more resilient just by wearing MBT in your everyday activities.
According to my friend, wearing them around the house or to do errands will exhaust even those in decent shape. So for those people who just can't find the time to go to the gym (thank you, Ryan!)- these are perfect. In fact, they're even touted as 'the world's smallest gym.'
So I'm very excited. Especially because of the family photos we took at a park yesterday. Let's just say I'm not pleased. Though I'd like to blame the photographers (sigh...Roy and I didn't have time to coach them on the 'chubby people picture rules'- you know...no close-ups that magnify unsightly features, no side profile shots of my flabby upper arms or accidentally flexed man-calves, no double chin angles, etc.), I'm going to have to admit that this one is all on me. :-(
Friday, September 05, 2008
It's Britney, b**ch!
Well...we have a date! We leave California on Sep. 21st. So we have about two weeks to take care of a million things- leaving our jobs, shipping our things, having a final garage sale, driving the cars out to the port of Long Beach (for shipping), renting a car for a week, moving into a hotel (assuming escrow closes on time), saying our goodbyes to friends and family...and as of an hour ago- line up an overnight sitter (thank you Jackie!) for this Sunday night, because Roy just won us tickets to the MTV Video Music Awards!
So helllooooo, Britney! Josie will be in the hiz-ouse Sunday night, rockin' the after party ('cause we have tickets for that too) in her faded black maternity pants with the stretchy waist band! And if things get really wild- she may even rip her top so she can show off her ratty nursing bra!
If I've never mentioned this before, Roy has a special knack for winning things on the radio. And even though he usually only does it when he's in the car (he has KROQ & KISS on speed dial), he somehow manages to win. When he was in high school and college he probably won a dozen great concert tickets. And just in the years we've been up here- he's won us tickets to see Dave Matthews (in Atlanta, all expenses paid!), the Black Eyed Peas, John Mayer, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and about $900 in baby gear. Also, in the two years we lived in Hawaii before moving up here, he won us tickets to see Cecilio & Kapono, a brunch for four at the Hawaii Prince Hotel, about $300 in surf gear from A'ama Surf & Sport, free cell phones, etc.
All I know is that my otherwise, calm, laid back Roy turns into a giddy sixteen year old girl anytime there's a decent contest on the radio. So he's thrilled. Me? I'm more happy for him, but I'm much more nervous/guilty about having to ask our friend Jackie to watch him for so long a period of time (it will be our first official 'date night' since he's been born). I'm also worried about fitting it in when we already had so many errands/tasks planned for this weekend. I may have to drug myself to get through the next few weeks (God Bless the Benadryl...it washes away all your fears, AND its legal. And cheap. And odorless.). Not that it matters. Wink wink.
So helllooooo, Britney! Josie will be in the hiz-ouse Sunday night, rockin' the after party ('cause we have tickets for that too) in her faded black maternity pants with the stretchy waist band! And if things get really wild- she may even rip her top so she can show off her ratty nursing bra!
If I've never mentioned this before, Roy has a special knack for winning things on the radio. And even though he usually only does it when he's in the car (he has KROQ & KISS on speed dial), he somehow manages to win. When he was in high school and college he probably won a dozen great concert tickets. And just in the years we've been up here- he's won us tickets to see Dave Matthews (in Atlanta, all expenses paid!), the Black Eyed Peas, John Mayer, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and about $900 in baby gear. Also, in the two years we lived in Hawaii before moving up here, he won us tickets to see Cecilio & Kapono, a brunch for four at the Hawaii Prince Hotel, about $300 in surf gear from A'ama Surf & Sport, free cell phones, etc.
All I know is that my otherwise, calm, laid back Roy turns into a giddy sixteen year old girl anytime there's a decent contest on the radio. So he's thrilled. Me? I'm more happy for him, but I'm much more nervous/guilty about having to ask our friend Jackie to watch him for so long a period of time (it will be our first official 'date night' since he's been born). I'm also worried about fitting it in when we already had so many errands/tasks planned for this weekend. I may have to drug myself to get through the next few weeks (God Bless the Benadryl...it washes away all your fears, AND its legal. And cheap. And odorless.). Not that it matters. Wink wink.
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