Is this supposed to be fun?

After months of feeling overwhelmed (new baby, sold home, quit job, big move) and recently gaining a few pounds, I have finally started running again! So far, I've run twice. And on each of those days, I ran exactly...(drumroll please)...one mile!!! Break out the Gatorade and call Runner's World, 'cause Jo Jo is on the loose!

Well, to be fair- after each mile, I also did four 100-yard sprints and 2 hills. But I also had to take plenty of breaks in between, because I am seriously out of shape. I haven't run since I was five months pregnant, which was over ten months ago. Where I once only needed to drink water every 2 miles, I needed water after each lap. And because I was so tired and rusty- I severely underestimated the flight path/trajectory necessary to spit over my shoulder (and instead spit directly onto my shoulder). I also failed to see the guy standing under the trees (damn those dark-skinned locals), so he overheard me panting along to Leona Lewis ("I keep bleedin', I keep keep bleedin' love!") as I was cooling down. So yeah, I'm a loooooong way away from where I left off, and I have to admit- I'm not exactly feeling the love I thought and hoped I'd be feeling about pounding the pavement again. And I have no idea why, because I'm sure it has NOTHING to do with the crazy humidity and me being so out of shape that I can barely fit my clothes.

This is how we do it!

There's no doubt that children today are much naughtier than in the past. As a result, Roy and I have decided to take a firm stand against this horrific trend. So yesterday, when Ryan cried (I've asked him REPEATEDLY not to cry until mommy is done watching all of her soaps), I decided to send him to a time out...

More pics of us livin' the good life

I hope Ry doesn't sue me when he's 18 for posting this nudie pic of him (please note the thick towel under his wee-wee so we don't get kicked out of the hotel).

We learned the hard way why it's not a good idea to bury your 5-month old in the sand.

We were able to snorkel in the fishpond pool with the eagle rays!!! At first I wouldn't let Roy swim more than a foot away from me (I figured if the eagle rays wanted to sting someone, they'd go for the brighter, whiter object).

We felt so bad about feeding Ry sand for his first meal that as soon as got home, we gave him his first meal (organic brown rice cereal...hippies food!). And as Roy so rudely pointed out, you could definitely tell he's my son, because he ate every last drop! Now all I have to teach him is how to glare at others and forcefully elbow them away if they dare approach you while you're eating.

How the other half live...

We're taking a few days off from our long list of home (and by 'home,' I mean rent-free recently renovated mother-in-law unit at my parent's house) improvement projects to join my family for a two-night stay at the Four Seasons Resort (my brother works there). And as you can see, Ry and his chubby tushie very much enjoy the feel of freshly laundered 1,000 thread count sheets.

In this shot, he couldn't care less about the beautiful eternity pool or sparkling Pacific...he's too busy staring at a half naked 21-year old Swedish woman in a g-string (he asked me to pinch her bum, and when I refused he spit up on me). I had grand plans of taking him for a walk on one of the resort's jogging paths, but instead decided to sit around and eat ginger-covered macadamia nuts and shortbread cookies instead (...and yet surprisingly, I had to borrow my mother's stretchy tank top to cover up all the backfat spilling out of my still-too-small bikini top).

Tomorrow Roy is going to join us so he and I can swim together in a saltwater pool filled with tropical fish and three rays!!! Yippie!

Forgive me KT...

When we lived in California, it was rare to see a bug in our home. I think this was because we lived in a desert climate, because all we ever saw were a few flies or ants in the summer. So whenever we did see any other kind of bug, it was a pretty big deal.

Roy: Hi honey! I'm home Guess what?! I had a patient today with eight gunshot wounds! He bled all over me and--

Josie: I killed a spider in the bathroom.

Roy: HOLY CRAP!!! Now isn't that something?!!

However, now that we're in Hawaii, our nightly conversations are a lot more like this:

Roy: Hi honey! I'm home!

Josie: I killed a baby centipede, four giant brown cockroaches, six mosquitoes, one of those scary a** bright green and orange lizards, one moth, three milipedes, two slugs, and I think I ate a gnat, but I'm not sure.

Roy: (yawn) That's nice dear....I'll pick up more Raid for you tomorrow.

While we do severely limit the amount of meat we buy (since we do feel badly for the animals), I freely admit that I feel no such compassion for bugs. I'm not sure why, but they just tick me off. I've mercilessly slaughtered more ants in an hour than most Americans see in their entire lifetime. However, I've gradually come to realize that I must find a way to coexist with the bugs- because thanks to our warm, tropical, moist climate, they will win. Handily. And there are simply not enough Combat traps, caulking and Raid in the world to take 'em all on. Plus, I don't want little Ry growing a speckled purple horn out of his forehead from breathing in all that Raid (I'll find some other way to damage him).

Only in Hawai'i (...& maybe Arkansas)

What with the Galveston disaster, the plummeting stock market and the gripping presidential election, what do you suppose our front page story was just a few days ago? A story about a little old lady who knits baby hats for the local hospital. Ain't it darlin'? Now in all fairness, this was more than just a cute human interest story. Because as the story went on, due to poor eyesight, this sweet little old lady was no longer able to knit the baby hats. So goodness gracious-who would take over for her?! Would all the babies born at the hospital be forced to go hatless?! Thank God our intrepid reporter interviewed a local OB doc to weigh in on his thoughts (he though the hats were neat, but wasn't too sure who would take over for her). If like me you can't wait to see how this goes, stay tuned and I'll be real sure to keep you all posted as new details emerge.

And if that wasn't funny enough, I chuckled while watching today's morning news. There's this one segment where they do brief highlights of each island (which I just discovered today and think is really neat since the rest of the islands tend to get overshadowed by O'ahu). And the first "news" highlight for the island of Maui was that (now sit down folks)...two thousand more people went to the county fair this year than last!!! WOW. Wow. Now that is serious hard hitting news. I kept waiting to see if they would discuss how many corn dogs sold versus teriyaki plates but it never came up.

So yes, I'm poking fun at the Hawaiian media. And NO, I don't think I can do any better. And I wouldn't want to change it, because I love it. Instead of having to read about decomposing bodies, freeway carnage or finding, oh I don't know- a bloodied finger in a box of Cheerios, we get to read about someone's aunty's cousin's friend's koa boat collection. Which is exactly why we came back. Because if that's the stuff that's newsworthy- well then heck, life must be pretty darn good.

I'll leave you with one other really cool discovery I've made about the islands-

Being poor is the greatest diet ever. When you cannot afford Triscuits because they are basically $4.89 a box, you can no longer mindlessly inhale half (oh who am I kidding) the entire box in front of the telly. So instead, you buy the generic version (not because it's cheap, but because it's a dollar cheaper) and only allow yourself one measly serving at a time, which helps you shed those last pregnancy pounds. (The only thing is, you have to bury it on the bottom of your grocery cart juuuust in case you bump into someone you know and hooooo, some shame if they see it.)

The Evolution of Ry

They say (and by 'they,' I mean that I am likely making this up) that babies change overnight. I remember back when Ryan was born being so anxious to interact with him. Yet all I could do was stare forlornly at his tiny, inert, burrito-wrapped little body since he slept no less than 20 hours a day. And when he did wake up, it was only to greedily suck down few ounces of milk before quickly passing out again, mouth wide open.

Well...that was then. Because today I have a smiling, active, drooling four-and-a-half month old who has decided that an adequate nap is 20 minutes long, that flipping onto his stomach FOUR HUNDRED times a day is great fun, and that whenever I attempt to feed him- that he is Muhammed Ali (he punches the bottle repeatedly with his tiny fists and then makes stares at me a stunned, accusatory way when the bottle flies four feet away).

But of course- not all changes are bad. Some are pretty darn cute- like how he makes thumb sucking a two-hand operation (it looks like he's playing a harmonica 24/7), how he does the Superman yoga pose on his tummy all day long (the kid must have butt cheeks to die for!), and how I awaken each morning at 6am to the sound of his grunting and two chubby legs flopping up and down on the mattress like drumsticks.

I suppose if nothing else, I've learned that everything he does, for better or for worse, is transitory. So if its cute- I enjoy it, photograph the hell out of it (I am Japanese after all, so I vedy, vedy good at this thing!) and treasure it while it lasts. And if it sucks (Muhammed Ali), I try to chuckle because I know it won't last forever.

A few more Ryan pics

This is a rare picture of Ryan having any downtime (I try to make sure his days are filled with infant Pilates, pre-K calculus or French cooking classes). Idle children become lazy adults, after all! Tsk tsk!

What are father and son so intently focused on? Sadly enough, the television screen on the airplane! Much to my horror and Roy's delight, Ryan looooves watching tv!

We took this pic a few days ago during a photo shoot my father arranged (we just took one a few years back, but Joseph and I bitterly whined and complained about wanting a new one now that we aren't as chubby). In our defense, we were both packing on some serious pounds and my parents have a formal portrait in their bedroom that's practically life-size, so we look like Japanese Michelin men. I'm a little mortified that I'm still in poofy maternity shorts for this pic, and I wanted Roy to wear shorts so I wouldn't like a scrub AND so he wouldn't look so haole...but sigh, I'm still too chubby to fit my old shorts, and he claims he couldn't find any. Ry looks kick a** in his new faux vintage Aloha shirt from his godmomma Kathy though, doesn't he?