Ryan...not so happy...that makes the two of us

My normally God-fearing, authority-obeying, polite, soft-spoken mother thought it would be soooo cute if Ryan sat on this camel at the Hilton. You know, so he'd look like one of the three kings. Unfortunately, Ryan didn't think it was so funny. Come to think of it, it wasn't exactly a banner day for the little guy...because he also did not get to sit on Santa's lap that day (I was lured by the oh-so-crafty "Santa will be there!" flyer that neglected to mention it cost $10), but it was also the first day of Operation Cry it Out. See, about 5-6 nights ago he started to wake up in the middle of the night and cry 3-4 times. The first few times he did it I was completely snookered. I kept running over, checking his diaper, making him more formula, inspecting him for bug bites or other signs of injury or illness. I even gave him Tylenol 'just in case' there was something wrong with him that I couldn't see. And when that didn't work- I even let him sleep with me since it was the only thing that would quiet him. Though it broke my self imposed rule of "no baby in the bed or he'll be sleeping with us until he's 13', after 5-6 hours of off-and-on crying I started to think that maybe there was something seriously wrong with him, so if sleeping next to me soothed him, then by golly he deserved it. But the second night...the second night I was onto him. So despite wanting to comfort him (what infant doesn't want to feel safe, secure and loved at night?), I've tried my best not to, and he's been crying it out for about three nights now and it SUCKS royally. He's cried more in the past 3-4 nights than he probably has for the first six months of his life. So of course I'm sleep deprived, but I couldn't care less about my own resulting nausea, I just feel incredibly bad for him. He's undoubtely confused and scared. It goes against every human and parental instinct you have to not run over and soothe a child when you're easily able to do so. I've considered switching over to the 'other side' and having a 'family bed' (since hey, we are Asian and Hawaiian at heart), but I'm committed to trying this for at least a week (in hopes that one rough week will result in better sleep for all of us in the long haul).

:-(

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Eat your hearts out all you single, unbetrothed little girls out there!!!

Ryan will officially be on the market in about 21 years, and now that he's 6 months old- we're currently accepting marriage proposals! All potential future brides must have wide, childbearing hips, and all dowry's must include at least three chickens, a goat, two oxen, a brand new 7-series BMW (...yes, its what Ryan asked for) and a partridge in a pear tree. Oh! And some Spam. The kind with cheese in it.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Love,
Roy, Josie & Rizzle dawg

I had a moment...

For years now, my brother Joseph and I have called each other to share what we call "our moments". As an example, my most recent moment that I called to share with him was- "I was getting a massage in old Holualua when the rain started falling softly on the old metal roof and leaves outside my window!" And I believe Joseph's most recent moment was "I was jogging all by myself in the Presidio when the wind started blowing the tree branches above me creating these unbelievable shadows. I almost teared up!" (Sissy boy!)

So yes, shallow people can have moments too. And I'm happy to say I've had a few since we moved here:

• Walking along a narrow, winding road- hopping over squashed guavas and inhaling the smell of the damp earth.
• Running on the trail behind my house and encountering five wild turkeys in my path.
• Sitting on the front lawn at dusk with Ryan and the rest of my family, watching the boys play on their jungle gym until its too dark to see.
• Falling asleep the other night with a lightness in my chest realizing for the first time that I do not hate my new life (long story, but not an original one...).
• Taking off on my first roadside run (it was downhill, all the more reason to grin) a few weeks ago. I felt like I was in flight!
• Watching Ryan swiveling his head back and forth, grinning at everyone during the singing at school (I now like school too)!
• Listening to the waves crash on the shoreline at Bubba Gump's.
• Looking at my overflowing fruit bowl on the counter, filled with organic papaya and apple bananas from the farmers market, avocados from a friend's tree, grapefruit from our backyard, and Ka'u oranges from my grandmother. I love that we have so much healthy food to nourish ourselves with, and love who its all from.

E komo mai, Ryan!!!

Guess what? Ryan has started going to school! I know, I know...he's only six months old, but he is part Japanese- so it was either start going to school or band camp. And thanks to my mother's connections (she's a lifetime early childhood educator)- he now goes to preschool with Roy or I two days a week for two hours a day.

The funny thing is, this particular preschool program is geared toward (get this) native Hawaiian children. This is endlessly amusing to me. Not only because Ryan does not have a single drop of Hawaiian blood, but also because his father is a honky!!! And his mother is a tightwad Asian! About the only thing authentically Hawaiian about Ryan is that he and his mother love to eat poi. So that our son is learning to sing the hokey pokey in Hawaiian is pretty funny to me.

The first day of class I wanted to die- sitting in circle time, singing gay songs while doing silly accompanying hand gestures...it about broke my spirit. It took everything within me not to flee. It's one of the MANY reasons I swore I would never be a mother- that stuff. But I knew I had to ignore the internal voices in my head (Just leave and come back when he's 2! He'll be fine! Isn't your happiness important too? Haven't you sacrificed enough?!). So I swallowed down my pain and embarassment long enough to fill out the application packet (it's free! it's educational! No Asian mother could turn it down!), and I'm glad that I did. Because I'm already for the most part, over my rage and have moved on to gratitude for the program and what it will offer Ryan. Who knows- maybe he'll be pounding poi and chanting oli's by the time he's two! Or at least teaching his daddy how to strum an ukulele and eat poke (raw fish) at the same time. ;-)

The apple never falls far from the tree

Ryan always flaps his arms and legs after each bath, and Roy couldn't for the life of him figure out where he learned how to do it...until now.

The Road Ahead

This was me last October in Long Beach (notice the hand signals). I was two months pregnant at the time. The 'two' I'm flashing is not for second place or my second win, but for 'second marathon finish'. That's a very important distinction.

Now that I just finished my second 4-mile run (which was a little better than the first one)... I finally have the balls to list a few running goals:

• March 22, 2009 - The Big Island Half Marathon - Hilo, HI.
• June 28, 2009 - The Kona Half Marathon - Kona, HI.

Both are small events. Very small events. But they're on my island, so it doesn't involve interisland travel. And now that we're officially a one-income family, that's key! A couple or random running-related thoughts (yay! I have them again!!!):

• I'm also starting to realize that running again after a long hiatus really is like riding a bicycle. I'm feeling increasingly more confident with each "long run," and was able to increase my mileage much quicker than I'd expected (from the aforementioned one mile to four miles).
• I did notice that old familiar pain in my knees on my second 4-mile run even though I waited four days between the two runs, but I'll keep the runs spread out to avoid that from worsening.
• Because things have gone much better than expected, I'm finding that I have to stop myself from some of my old habits- I automatically want to apply Body Glide or pack shot bloks in my Fuel Belt...which are soooo NOT necessary for a short 4-mile run.
• I need to do a small equipment overhaul...my shoes need to be replaced, and Roy is getting me a new MP3 player to use since the one I have now is way too big and fugly (it was free...and cheap people generally try to give all free things a chance...).
• Yet again...it pays to be cheap!!! I have held on to my old stash of shot bloks, so it will be nice to dip into it and not have to buy a case right off the bat. I also brought home a small stash of Jelly Belly Sport Beans that I've been hoarding from past races (they're not the caffeine ones, so they're only good for short runs) that I can dip into as well.
• If all goes well, it will also be nice to be able to whittle off a few more pounds so I can squeeze back into my size S Fuel Belt and not have to continue wearing my old size M one. :-(
• I am soooo excited to even be contemplating running a half again. For quite some time now, I've felt like having a baby sucked not only all of my old energy, but my ambition and courage as well. And you know, though I tried to fool myself into believing that I wouldn't mind giving up running (it's hot, tiring, time consuming), I really do love the half. I've missed it, and more importantly- how running that distance made me feel.

The Boy Band

So Roy and Ryan had their first jam session yesterday (the first of what Ryan says will be many since he claims daddy can't keep up), but even more importantly- mommy went on her first decent run!!! After only three separate one-mile runs, I decided to push myself a little and ran 4 miles! Here's how I tripled my mileage without overexerting/injuring myself:

1. I ran very, very slowly. We're talking 12-min. miles. Maybe even slower.
2. I took about 4-5 short water breaks.
3. But most important of all...I forced myself to run on the open road where others could see me (and didn't want to be caught walking)! So you see...it pays to be shallow!!!

My future fitness goals now that I'm pumped up from the run?

1. Run twice a week.
2. Walk twice a week with the MBTs to recover from the runs.
3. Start lifting twice week at home.
4. Work my way back up to 13.1 miles within a year of Ry's birth.
5. Work on the eating...still 5 lbs. heavier than I was pre-Ry, and 12 lbs. heavier than my all-time low.

Malama Obama

Halelujah.
Halelujah.
Halelujah.

Please Lord, please Lord...keep him alive.

This morning Ry went with me to vote (he wore red, white and blue)...and then this evening, he quietly sat on my lap during Obama's acceptance speech.

I hope Roy isn't wrestling someone to the ground at work right now (he's works in the psych ward) and knows our country made history tonight.

I hope McCain didn't cry when he realized he lost. I believe he's a good man.

Wow. A black man with a Muslim name who used to smoke weed just got elected President.

Priceless moments

I just realized I can post videos of Ry! So I have a bit of a backlog...here's one from the month of August when Roy was trying to capture Ryan turning over and instead- got this special treat!

-J

PS- Happy 20th Birthday, Uncle JJ!

Happy Halloween!!!

For his very first Halloween, Ry went trick or treating with Grandma and his cousins!!! And thanks to Grandma who was busy yapping with all her friends, he was able to eat a few huge bites of his orange paper bag (that's my boy!!!!) before Grandma noticed! Huge shout out to Grandma for sewing him his pumpkin shirt!


And thanks to Uncle JJ- he had a second costume as well! I would comment, but I don't think any words would suffice...