Bringing up the rear

Finish half marathon race #8? Check!
Run an entire race with my husband and cross the finish line together? Check!
Run hard, pace myself and lead part of the race? Check! (Even if it was only for the first 20 yards.)

Today's Kona Half Marathon went wonderfully well. Thanks to my parents (and the fine makers of Benadryl), I managed to get decent night's sleep the night before, the weather was perfect (cool and overcast at the start, not too hot at the finish), the race was well organized and there were plenty of water stations along the course.

I felt great for most of the first 6.5 miles (we made the turn at 1:03, which was good). However, around mile 8 I started to run out of juice. Even for me- that felt kinda early to be tired. At mile 11, each of my legs weighed about 100 lbs. And for the last quarter mile of the race, I am pretty sure I sounded like a wheezing asthmatic at death's door. Even though every race (no matter the distance) takes absolutely everything out of you- I think that was one of the hardest halfs I've run. I thought it was because I didn't really train well, but my dad and Roy pointed out that it could also have been the heat/humidity as well.

Thankfully, like every race, we somehow found the energy to sprint in the last 100 yards and gleefully overtook two Japanese girls that had been right in front of us for most of the race. This allowed us to finish at 2:14, which is only 6-8 min. slower than my previous personal bests. Our time put us just above the middle of the pack (#s 200/201 out of 463). Definitely can't complain about that! Even though I had no real right to set any time goals, it would have sort of broken my spirit to see a time higher than 2:20 when I was once on the verge of running sub 2-hour races.

It was really neat to see so many runners in little 'ol Kona (there were 1200 runners in the full, half and 10 & 5k fields, 80% of which were NOT from the island) from all over the country. I always love seeing the purple Team in Training (leukemia), orange Team Challenge (Crohn's & colitis) and red Train to End Strokes groups out there, especially knowing that many or most of them are running their first races ever AND raising money for great causes. Whoever led the charge in developing these programs is a mastermind- get people healthy in a motivational/team environment AND raise money for wonderful causes.

I also forgot how humbling it is to be easily passed by people carrying 30-80 lbs. more than you. We even saw what had to be an 80 or 90-year old man with severe scoliosis hobbling along all by himself, doing the marathon. F***ing awesome. What an inspiration.

So the next half marathon on the island (there are only 2) is the Big Island International (on the other side of the island). And it is not until March of 2010, so I'm not sure where I'm going from here. The old me would have already enrolled in it, but the new, much more tired, much less ambitious me says I'm just not sure if I'm feeling it or not. I reconfirmed something today (that I've realized in pretty much every single race I've ever done), which is that I'm not really a race runner.

Here's what I know I DO love about running races- the inspirational moments, the convenience of water stations (no more heavy Fuel Belts!), cheering bystanders and the fact that races often force you into getting fit. However, I think there are more things that I DON'T like about races- I don't like competition. I don't like pressuring/pushing myself out of my (slow) comfort zone because I am embarrassed at being passed. I don't like feeling bad because I'm not fast. I don't like worrying about my time. I don't like worrying about how I am going to be judged by myself and othes based on my time.

And I also realized that the things I do *love* about distance running (if you can call my limited 13.1 distance running) have nothing to do with races- the freedom of running, the strength I feel while running, the euphoria I feel after running, etc. So to be honest, I don't have any current plans to run another race. I might. I might not. I do know that I will continue running because it brings many good things to my life, I just don't know where the road will take me (no pun intended).

Though I'm sure this will probably not be my last race, and definitely not the end to my running, I'm really, really glad that I got to do this one with my husband. He risked injury by training for this race (running rather than walking), and though he denies it, sacrified finishing faster so that he could run alongside his pathetically exhausted wife. He improved his previous best half marathon time by over 15 minutes (he used to racewalk them) and deserves all the accolades in the world!

And where was Ryan during all of this? Worshipping the Lord in church with his grandmother. Which means that over the last 10-15 years, my 1-year old son has now been to church more than me. Apparently he loved the music and was very well behaved. He even took a little 20-minute snooze in one of the hard pews. We were a little nervous that he would come home angrily shaking his chubby little fist and us and calling us 'sinners,' but thankfully, he did not. ;-) Hallelujah.

Roy & I post-race at the beautiful Outrigger Keauhou Beach Hotel...which is also where we got married a little over 12 years ago.

Ryan's June '09 Pictorial

Ryan's version of 'helping' us do the laundry. Not so helpful.

All I can say is, you gotta start training 'em real young. So far his souflee isn't half bad (but don't tell him that, he'll get cocky).

Ry just after a bath. Have I ever mentioned that Daddy does all his evening baths? He does. That's why I married him.

Annihilating his mini key lime pie, complete with spit bubble blowing at the end!

Mommy and Ryan hitting the bottle before bedtime.

Ry's 1st Run Forrest Run Keiki Fun Run

Roy got the best Fathers Day present ever- getting to see his son participate in his first race! Bubba Gump's (the main sponsor, which just so happens to be one of our favorite restaurants) and the Kona Marathon team put on an amazing, top notch event! They did a phenomenal job of creating an actual race course- they supplied each child with race packets and numbers and even had a REAL finish line- complete with timing clock and shell leis at the end! They even had misters to cool down!

We had a good time taking in the pre-race festivities before we had to head to the starting line at 8am. There were about 20-30 other kids (1-4 years olds) participating in Ry's age division, but Ryan was definitely the youngest one there and the only one who could not walk. As a result, when all the other kids shot out of the starting block...Ryan just stood there. And stared.

Thankfully, after a few seconds I was able to nudge him forward and he began pushing his little hippo. Unfortunately, the walk ended up being a little more challenging than we'd anticipated due to all the thick clumps of dry grass that his hippo kept getting stuck on. Nonetheless, he happily and gamely plodded along while bystanders enthusiastically cheered him on. Unfortunately, this also distracted him. And so every so many yards, he would stop and stare at whoever was cheering at him on. These delays, along with the 2-3 times he would stop and exhaustedly plop down on his little behind and lift his arms up to be carried, may have been why Ryan clocked in at five minutes and twenty seconds, approximately five full minutes after all of the other children. I don't think the event organizers had anticipated someone taking over five full minutes to walk or run 100 yards. Nonetheless, our little boy DID finish to quite a frenzied crowd. And though he was initially quite despondent and embarrassed about his performance (we told him he should have drank some Gatorade beforehand!!!), he quickly recovered once he saw the bowl of orange wedges and pretzels at the finish line.

All in all, we had a great time and Ryan asked that you please assist us in lobbying Wheaties to help get him on the next box. We're also accepting sponsorship offers through the end of the week (and have already heard from Marlboro and Bud Light). Ry is insisting that we keep the phone lines clear just in case Nike also calls.

A few pics from the historic day...

Our little shrimp at the pre-race festivities.

Ry couldn't stop staring at the giant shrimp!

Crossing the finish line with Daddy!

A 100-yard dash can be exhausting (yes, even for last place finishers)! As a result, he definitely earned a cool run through the misters! He loved 'em so much that we kept running through them until he was drenched!

After the race he insisted his entire body ached and that he needed a full body, deep tissue two-hour rubdown...

Let them eat cake!

I've been temporarily sidelined from running! On last week's long run I noticed some minor nagging, pain in my left quadricep. And because it still hasn't gone away, I am concerned enough that I am forgoing this weekend's long run. I'm hopeful that I'll still be able to run next weekend in the Kona Half Marathon-- scratch that. Regardless of my condition next week Sunday, I WILL be running in the half. Like I said, the pain isn't horrific, and I paid my entry fee and did the (albeit basic) training, so I'm totally doing it. I'm a bit bummed about not running for so long before a race, but I'm also grateful that the injury occured about when I would have tapered (today's run would only have been 8 miles or so) anyway. (It could be worse. I could have paid $100 to enter the LA Marathon and then gotten severe sciatic pain that would pull me out of it...but I wouldn't know anything about that. Grr.)

On the upside, being sidelined has given me some extra time to contemplate my next series of moves. Now that summer is here and the heat and humidity have ramped up, I'm planning on throttling back the long runs...perhaps just doing a weekly 6-10 miler. This way I'll be in decent enough shape to run a half down the road if I want to, but it will also pressure me into doing a few other things and avoid getting running burnout. I'd like to start lifting and doing some isometric exercises once a week so I can be better toned. However, what I'd REALLY like to do is start learning how to bake cakes. I've had an interest in cake decorating (I'm in love with fondant and have wanted to learn how to build tier cakes for years!). And watching Cake Boss and Amazing Wedding Cakes has only fueled the fire. I'd previously looked into taking a class in CA, but the start up costs/supplies were about $300, so I backed out. Unfortunately, this cost now pales in comparison to my only option here- which is to take some basic baking/patisserie classes at our local college's culinary arts school. I did some cursory research online this morning and I believe (I could be wrong) that I would have to enroll in not one, but FOUR prerequisite courses in order to take the two baking/pastry classes I'm interested in! Plus, as an added bonus, I would be required to purchase appropriate professional cooking attire- big white coat, black and white checkered pants, big floppy white hat, sturdy black no-slip shoes... Egads. After over ten years of having wear unflattering, baggy, unisex clothing, I have just three words for that- oh heeeeell no. I desperately want to take a baking class, but having to enroll in four other courses (in such fascinating subjects as sanitation, food cost control, etc.) is definitely more of a time/cost committment than I can afford to take on right now.

This does not mean yours truly has been deterred. It just means that it's time for me to hit the books and YouTube! Due to being lazy, cheap, semi-solitary, a lover of books, etc., I have in the past managed to learn the basic fundamentals of various other hobbies almost entirely through books and online (personal finance, basic retirement investment, running, soap making, etc.). Don't get me wrong, I agree that it is a lot more beneficial for me to learn certain things in a group, interactive setting- cake decorating being one of them. But it doesn't seem to be an option for me, so I'll do my best hitting eBay, Amazon, Borders, Google and our local library in search of some introductory books on cake decorating. If anyone knows of any good, beginner level books on the topic, please let me know! I've heard it's quite difficult, so I'm going to need all the help I can get! In other world news...we have a rare, fun weekend planned! As soon as Ryan wakes up, we're whisking him off to a Farmers Market & Ukulele Festival up in Holualoa so he can go to a petting zoo there. Then this evening we're going to an Obon Festival down in Keauhou that will also have taiko performances. Loooove taiko. And then on Sunday (queue Rocky theme music), it's Ryan's 1st race and Father's Day brunch with Roy. So aaahhh...for one rare, special weekend I feel like we still live near the cultural heartland of California, where there are always a million fun, cultural events to do! I told Roy that if he ever gets laid off in this horrible recession that we're heading back to California, San Fran to be exact, so I can run through Golden Gate park or along the water, nibble on organic peaches at the Ferry Marketplace, go to weekly festivals, shop at the Chinese markets for fruit and veggies and gorge on the pahd thai at Herbivore...

Running Report

Ryan got a new outfit from Aunty Yuri & Uncle Mike and demanded that we put it on him and take glamour shots for all his lady friends.

Who can resist a man with a froggy visor?

He insisted on an action shot (to show off his physique...he's been training for his 100-yard dash this weekend).

You can see Ryan just cringing. He's worried this picture will hurt his game.

For the first time in our lives, Roy and I are training together. And by 'training' I do not mean that we do things like lift weights together, run drills together or high-five each other at the gym. We have an active 1-year old. So when I say that we are 'training' together, I suppose what I really mean is that we have gotten to run together 4-5 times over the past 3 months.

A few months ago, Roy confided that bad knees be damned, he wanted to try and run a half marathon for the first time. And initially, this did not please me. I was hesitant about having someone join me on my already precious little 'me time' (I cringe even typing those two words). I was also upset about having to share something, the only thing (since I've become a stay-at-home mom) that is uniquely mine (you know, because NO ONE else in the world runs except me). Lest you think I am completely and utterly insecure, I want to point out that Roy told me all of this at the exact same time my sister-in-law also announced that she was going to start running with the intent of running a half marathon as well.

So while I probably should have felt delighted to share my special interest with my spouse...I was not. Instead I was peevishly thinking that now I would have to watch Ryan even more than I already do while Roy trained. I was also annoyed that my once a week private runs would become more about trying to keep up with Roy. But I was most frustrated about the idea of having to share the joy of my race day with him and having our performances compared (I dislike competition).

Nonetheless, after just a few runs together, I quickly found Roy's presence to be quite comforting, even a bit motivational. His dogged persistance to run longer distances even though he'd never run before pushed me to trudge a little bit further than I normally would have before walking. And despite my fears about feeling pressured to keep up with him, we quickly found a natural rhythm together that allows us to run together for much of the time. While I would like to say that I've completely evolved and have shed all insecurities regarding this issue- I cannot. But I can say that I do enjoy the companionship and am happy that Roy's happy. We just ran from our house to the airport the other day (a first for him) and he did really well.

On the flip side, I have to admit that even though we're supposedly training for a race that is in less than 2 weeks- we are only running a cringeworthy, piddly, measly once a week. I was shooting for a second weekly short run each week or even ONE other type of cross training workout per week (TaeBo, weights, ANYTHING), but it hasn't worked out. The best we can manage is a 2.5 mile walk once or twice a week.

That being said, it's not super shocking that we've been clocking some pretty atrocious times. I used to run the half in about 2 hours and 10 minutes...but we're now at 2 hours and 20-25 minutes. It's a little embarassing, especially since we've run the distance of 13.1 at least 3-4 times already. So it's become very apparent that one run a week does NOT a half-marathoner make. And while this disappoints me to some degree (I had thought muscle memory, a determined mind and being nearly at pre-pregnancy weight counted for something), I am still overwhelmingly grateful and pleased that I'm out there, still trying, still valiantly slugging away. What little self esteem I have nowadays is 100% attributable to that one long run a week, so even though the growing Hawaiian heat and my deflated ego from my serious lack of speed has me constantly thinking about taking a break from running, part of me knows I should not.

I'm also missing the feeling of being as strong and toned as I used to be. I miss crunches, free weights, Tae Bo kicks, planks and spinning and what they did for my body. Somehow, I've got to figure out a way to work those back into my life. If there are women with sextuplets out there who can run marathons, surely I can find the time to work on toning the batwings.

5 things that make me happy today:

1. The realization that I've successfully managed to keep off 50 (of a 60-lb. weight loss) pounds for a few years now. That's not just statistic-defying , it's also just plain awesome.

2. Cool, shady breezes on hot, humid days.*

3. Ryan's fat cheeks resting on his chest while he stares down at something (usually a toy), deep in concentration.

4. Swimming laps in the cool, clear, blue waters of our aquatic center's pool.*

5. Kona coffee ice cream covered in whipped cream and macadamia nuts.

*Can you tell it's friggin' HOT here? I'm dying! Stop using aerosol hairspray, damnit!!! You're killin' us over here!

Isogashii

It's been a busy couple of weeks- sad goodbyes to my sister-in-law and 2 nephews (they're back in Japan for one of their two annual 6-week trips), a terrible bout with the stomach flu, Ry's end of the school year festivities, weekly half marathon runs (sounds more impressive than it is), tons of tearful teething (Ry has NINE teeth now!), meeting my youngest brother's girlfriend's family from CA (hopeful future in laws!), a few minor home improvement projects (after only 8 months of looking...we will soon have nightstands! No more Rubbermaid container ghetto nightstands!), enduring Ry's 12-month shots, etc.

It's all left very little time for blogging, but in the interest of not becoming bitter, grouchy and inhaling eveything in sight, I have continued to made an effort to nourish myself by running once a week, taking the time to read/nap with Ryan, getting out once a week on my own, and re-reading old favorites (books) on the importance of balance/managing anxiety/avoiding overeating.

And because I'm (always) trying to become one of those mindful, live-in-the-moment kinda people who exude inner calm and happiness, I'm going to try to add one of these lists to each future blog post-

5 things that make me happy today:

1. ACT flouride. After years of using the (cheaper) kind of mouthwash that you have to pour into a cap, I still can't get over how neat it is to squeeze out what you need! Very fancy!

2. Peeled, sliced, fresh mango. No other fruit on Earth comes close.

3. Libraries. It's funny, I always assumed I'd have to settle for reading half as much as I used to (or less) after having Ryan, but because he naps and goes to bed earlier in the evening, I use that time to read. I read more than twice as much as I used to!

4. Bendryl. I don't have allergies, but I do have sleeping issues.

5. Losing weight from the stomach flu. It makes all the suffering worth it.

6. Okay, one extra one- Roy got a promotion to RN IV! It's a small raise, but well deserved!