Josie. Madonna. One and the same!

For the last month or two I've been really struggling on my weekly long run. Yesterday and the week before all I could muster were two very slow 10-milers. It's been a battle even getting out of bed to do the run, and for the first hour of each run it takes everything I have to finish it. While I can honestly say running has never been the amazing zen-like experience for me that it is for others, it's never been this bad either. Not too long ago, I remember getting excited before each long run, happily laying out my clothes and packing my Fuel Belt the night before. I remember gloating about feeling like I could fly. I remember the euphoria and adrenaline conspiring together to convince me that I could run to the ends of the Earth.

I know that this new attitude is not a normal one for me, but I also know that I cannot possibly sustain doing something that I have been dreading for quite some time. So on yesterday's run, rather than continue to suppress my negative emotions, I decided to really explore why it is I felt that way. Here's what I came up with:

1. I am too exhausted to be getting up so early in the morning. Most nights I get about 6 hours of broken sleep (Ry likes to kick me in the torso all night). Because I already get up everyday with Ry at 5:45am, I've gotten kinda resentful having to get up even earlier (5am) on Saturdays to run.

2. I'm not a fan of the heat/humidity (acclimation is a concept lost on my overly active sweat glands). Ever since we moved back to HI, I've noticed that this has taken a lot of the 'zing' out of my step. I get tired faster, slower faster, etc. and just feel 'heavier' and weaker most of the time I'm out there. Not a good feeling.

3. I've gotten bored. I've been running for about 3 years now, and I've already done more than I ever thought I would- 4 marathons, dozens of half marathons, and I got back in (almost) pre-baby shape. But because I'm slipping rapidly downhill, it's killing my spirit to continue this way.

So on my run yesterday, I decided to finalize a plan that's been brewing in my head for awhile that I think, will solve all three of my problems. Ready?

I'm going to run for an hour or so, and then swim for an hour!

• I can sleep in an hour longer since I'll end my workouts in a cooler environment!
• I'll be much cooler for the second half of my workouts now!
• It's something new for me (new gear, new challenges, new lessons to be learned)!
• And as a bonus, I'll get a more well-rounded, full-body workout that's gentler on the joints!

I've talked it over with Roy, and he's in support of it. I kinda like the idea of being one step closer to a triathlete. So does this make me a biathlete? ;-)

I'm extremely excited about the idea of reinventing myself (hence the Madonna reference). But I'm also a little nervous about being able to follow through with it and whether I'll like it or not. I have to admit I'm also kinda eager to get a new outfit that can I both swim and run in. I've done a little research online, but I'm definitely overwhelmed. I do know that I'm not a fan of those suits that look like men's leotards/wrestling outfits. Eek. I don't need to look any more masculine. And I do know that since I want to run first (since the pool doesn't open until 8:15am), that I want to start off with some kind of spandex type shorts and shirt (to cover my thighs and chest so that I can wear a Fuel Belt without chafing), but then strip down to a sports bra top/bikini bottom for the swim (so I can even out the tan a little). Does such a thing even exist? Any ideas? I'm a total beginner again!!! :-) It's the perfect excuse to get all manic and crazy researching my heart out!

PS- We leave tomorrow for our two week vacay to WA & AK, so I can't get nuts on the new project until after we return!

Happy 7th Birthday Kenichi!

Who-hoo! I'm done with my nephew's birthday cake!!! I knew it would take awhile, but egads! And I swear, if my parent's hadn't watched Ryan for 3 of the 6 hours it took to make the cake, I'd still be working on it (thanks mom & dad)! Here's what it took to make the cake:

• First I baked four 9-inch yellow cakes
• Made the buttercream frosting
• Made the peanut butter ganache
• Once the cakes cooled, I froze them and then torted (leveled/cut off the raised areas) the tops of each cake
• I carved out a smaller cake for the top level of the cake
• Filled each layer of the two cakes with the peanut butter ganache
• I cut up a wooden dowel in four pieces to place inside the lower level of the cake
• Cut up a circular piece of cardboard (a cake board) to place on the wooden dowels (to support the top tier of cake and prevent it from 'sinking' into the lower level) and then covered it with aluminum foil
• Covered each cake layer with the buttercream frosting (I'm so in love with the consistency and look of buttercream frosting even though I still suck at applying it)
• Colored the cream cheese frosting (blue for the pond, gray for the concrete, and green for the grass)
• Mashed up Oreos and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups to make assorted dirt/rocks
• Finished the decorating and then washed three loads of dirty dishes!!!

I made at least a half dozen mistakes- my cake board was too big, my ganache never got light/fluffy, the cake was a little too small to fit everything on it, I ran out of buttercream frosting and had to stretch it, I measured the dowels before I put the ganache in so they were a little too short to be as supportive as they should have been, I mixed cake crumbs into the frosting, I forgot to dig a hole for the pond into the cake so it didn't look like a pond, the Milk Dud 'rocks' were too big to circle around the pond, I was too lazy to write Kenichi's name with pre-made fondant and stick it into the side of the cake, and I realized the whole cake would have looked better with brown buttercream frosting (since it's a construction site)...but I'm still happy with it overall since I know Kenichi will be thrilled.

So without further ado, here's the cake!!!

Kenichi's younger brother Riki helped me with the torting!

Here is the front of the cake...

And here is the back!

So You Think You Can Dance (Toddler Edition)

Ryan has decided to add twirling to his dancing repertoire*!

*At present, this includes but is not limited to: rocking back and forth, flapping his arms left and right and now, twirling (and falling). And yes, we're very, very proud.

Look ma, no hands!

Yesterday while playing with my stash of Tigers Milk & Kashi bars (one of his favorite things to do), Ryan discovered that carrying the bars around in his mouth...freed up his hands to play! Pure genius.

Josie Spelling's Open Letter to PETA

Dear PETA,

Classy. Very classy. I'm sure you've done exactly what you claim you intended here- which is to influence overweight people into giving up meat. Because your billboard isn't deeply offensive, hurtful or cruel at all. I've always had a conflicted relationship with your organization. I mean, on the one hand, you represent a noble cause that I wholeheartedly support- ending the senseless torture of animals. I have always felt reassured knowing that there was an organization out there willing to stand up for the rights of defenseless animals, and I've thought long and hard about wanting to contribute monetarily to your organization. But do you what has held me back? Two things. The first is that I've always been a bit turned off by the immaturity of your attention-getting tactics...and this campaign definitely proves that your leadership is still light years away from learning that you kill more flies with honey than vinegar (bad analagy for PETA, I know...but part of me wants to offend you right now). And the second is that I'd feel like a fraud for sending it to you- because yes, I do occasionally eat meat, I own a pair of leather shoes, I fully plan on taking my son to the zoo, and I do not make nearly enough of an effort to purchase products that are cruelty-free. But here's the kicker. I know that even if I wrote all those things right on my check- you'd still take my money...and then you'd spit on me. Or douse me with red paint. So I don't know who is the greater hypocrite. But I do know this- you might garner a lot of attention for this campaign (no such thing as negative publicity, right?), but you've just set your movement far, far back. In fact, I'd bet my last dollar that not only will you NOT convert a single overweight American to give up meat, but that you've even offended your (vegetarian/vegan) supporters. So congratulations, you've managed to find a way to actually HURT the animals. I found your billboard to be so offensive that if I didn't care about the animals so much, I'd run out and buy a dozen burgers right now just to spite you. So do yourselves a favor and take down the billboard. And don't even bother apologizing, we'll know it's definitely not sincere.

-Josie

His lungs work!

I love these Gorilla Blocks (sure wish they were cheaper so we could buy more), and loved Ry's little screechfest after he knocked down the walls to his little castle.

PS- Guess what Ry & I did at school today? Did we play with blocks? Puppets? Read books together? Why, no...we walked in the parking lot together! For an hour. Because now that Ry has discovered the joy of being ambulatory, he has decided that it is much more fun to go toddling through the hot, shadeless (vacant) parking lot of the school than anything else. Ahhh well, at least my boy marches to the beat of his own drum!

Momma's Boy!

Who says the youth of today don't know how to work hard?

Ryan emptying the trash



Ryan helping mommy clean the kitchen floor



Ryan cooking dinner for mommy and daddy

Ry walks!

This is a video I (finally) took this morning of Mr. Rizzle Fizzle walking for his Uncle Joey & Godmomma Kathy! My favorite part is at the end where he's trying to find my face (hidden behind the camera).

Semper Fi

Last week I had a bug up my butt to stop talking and start doing. No more excuses for not doing A, B & C because I'm either too tired/hot/busy watching Ry/poor/etc. So I made a list of all the things I've been wanting to do for while, and tried to to do as many as I could over the past few days:

1. Challenge myself with a longer/harder run.
My last 2-3 long runs have been painfully monotonous, and I realized I was probably in a bit of a rut. So on Sunday I both upped my usual 10-miler to 13 and changed the course so that the last 2-3 miles were mostly uphill. I ended walking most of the uphill portion (wimpy yes...but it still got my heart pumping and my quads burning). It took two and a half hours, but afterwards I felt exhilarated for having done something different. Conclusion: I'm going to continue to challenge myself on my long runs in order to keep myself motivated AND get in better shape.

2. Bake a cake. A fancy cake. And *finally* find a cake decorating class!
I've been talking about cake decorating for a few months now, but my excuse has been that Ryan is always underfoot and it's nearly impossible to cook anything in the day, much less bake. However, I realized that he does go to bed by 8 evernight, so on Tuesday night, I baked two circular 9-inch pans of chocolate cake, trimmed them and froze them. Then I whipped up some chocolate ganache and kneaded some marshmallow-based fondant from scratch (very time consuming AND difficult). On Wed. night I spread a layer of chocolate ganache between the cakes and added sliced strawberries, covered both cakes with a layer of buttercream frosting and then put the rolled fondant on top of it. And it was...hideous looking. My fondant was too thick, too dry, too lumpy and had fingerprints and chocolate smudges on it (however, it did taste like Jesus Christ himself baked it).

On Thursday, I finally called a store that offers a cake decorating class. However, I found out that the class consists of four 2-hour sessions and is a one-hour drive away- which is way too much time to ask someone to watch Rizzle. Conclusion: There's a reason only the pros work with fondant! I'm going to pass on the fondant and class for now, but I WILL focus on learning more about how to make tiered cakes and how to make new fillers and a good, thick buttercream frosting (that looks like fondant) from scratch! If you have any ideas, shoot 'em my way por favor!

3. Go to a yoga class, get limber and feel more at peace.
My workouts are a shadow of what they used to be, and as a result, I am definitely wimpier and flabbier (I could barely do a girl-style push the other day and wobbled when I tried to do a lunge). Sad. Because I had already researched yoga studios a month ago, I knew there was a 90-min. class only a mile from my home. So I went to it on Wed. morning, and while it definitely reminded me of how wonderful it feels to be flexible, I was the youngest person in the class by about 3 decades and because I went to a beginner class, it wasn't quite as challenging as I'd hoped it be. It also called for a few 'om' chants (shiver) that I declined participating in. I don't know why I'm so closed off to that stuff, but despite my best efforts to be open minded- I've just never really jived with it. Conclusion: Even though I know I can find a different class, group yoga has been something I've tried off and on for years but never felt passionate about it. Also, the class wasn't cheap and I had to ask my mom to watch Ryan for 90 min so I could go. So while I won't resume yoga classes, I loved feeling limber again and will DEFINITELY start stretching more at home since it's something I can do (for free!) while watching Ryan!

4. Go on a diet, tone up and lose 3-4 lbs. before our vacation.
For months I've been talking about wanting to lose a few pounds before we go on our cruise later this month (you know, just so I can loosen up a little bit while on the ship). However, because I knew I would never be able to survive on a 1,250 calories a day Cosmo-type diet, and going to a gym is not an option for now...I've done the next best thing- which is absolutely nothing. Well, I take that back...I have gained 2 pounds. So last week, I decided that enough was enough and set a few realistic goals-

a) In addition to my 1 long run and 1 short walk with MBTs/Ryan on my back per week, add 1 workout w/weights per week (for muscle toning), and one more short walk per week.
b) Reduce my caloric intake to 1,800-2,000 calories per day (and yes, sadly, that is the REDUCED amount...it's never been a mystery as to how I gain weight).

Conclusion: So far I've had no problem adding on the additional exercise (I've even done more than I set out to), but I'm bombing miserably on the caloric intake. Part of it was the birthday weekend (I turned 35!), part of it is just, well...me. However, I actually feel more empowered now that I'm actually doing something about toning up instead of just whining about it. I still have two more weeks left of this goal, so I'll keep you posted!

Overall Thoughts
Even though I haven't exactly been successful in each of my pursuits (I still run really slowly, I got bored at yoga, my 'beautiful fancy cake' was ugly as sin, I haven't lost weight), I am very proud of myself for just having DONE them. It's amazing what I could do once I stopped making excuses and turned off the TV. The moral of the story? Clearly it's never count your chickens before they've hatched into two birds in one hand with water under the bridge! No really, I liked the feeling of accomplishment so much this past week that I'm going to make a concerted effort to not just make a list of the things I *have* to do each week, but the things I want to do as well.

Scuba Diving Lesson!

Though we once considered ourselves avid adventure seekers, since we've had a baby the most adventurous things we seem to do are 'stay up past 10pm' or 'go to Target twice in one week.' So we were thrilled when Grandma Janice offered to watch Mr. Rizzle Fizzle so that we could go to a scuba diving lesson together, something we've both wanted to do for a long time.

We had a BLAST. Loved it! We had a great instructor, were given top of the line equipment to use, and got to learn all kinds of exciting things while underwater- like how to release water from your mask (kind of unnerving at first!), taking out/putting your regulator back in your mouth, important hand signals, how to stabilize your ears while descending (the pool dropped from 4 to 14 feet), etc. However, the most thrilling moment of the day was learning that I would be outfitted in size XS gear. That's right. XS. Better put that in bold- XS. While it's obvious that diving must be a sport for hormonally imbalanced giants, I was nonetheless pleased as punch.

It seemed like a lot to take in (we were there for about 2 hours), so I was actually kinda glad it was in a pool because it felt safer, contained... And as much fun as I had learning everything (we spent a total of about 20-30 min. submersed), it was so initially slightly unnerving (it just felt, I don't know...'wrong' to be underwater so long?) and foreign and awkward that I could tell it would take some time before you felt comfortable, graceful and natural underwater.

If time and cost were not an issue, I would probably consider getting certified, but I think Roy is a lot more interested in it that I am. I mean, I can totally see myself diving in relatively shallow, clear blue, calm waters somewhere in the Caribbean, but I can't really see myself imagine diving off a boat in the middle of the Pacific into deep, dark, unpredictable, hungry shark-filled waters (you know, while in my EXTRA SMALL sized gear) and thinking that's crazy fun.

So we're thrilled that we did it and I know we both would love to do it again. If you're ever in Kona, definitely look up Jack's Diving Locker, they were awesome!