Stuck in a rut

I'm in the middle of training (week 12 of 19) and have noticed that I've definitely fallen into a rut.  On hill work day, I do exactly 10 hill repetitions (never more).  I've never run more than 10 miles on my medium run.  There is still no short run.  And I've skipped my second weekly weights workout for the last 3 weeks.  I also just realized that surprise, surprise...I haven't posted my weekly training schedule for the past three weeks.

It's getting a lot harder to convince myself that I'm a champ 'just for getting out there,' and becoming much more obvious that really, I'm just a lazy, undisciplined fool. The last time I half-a**ed trained for an event (who can forget my one-day a week training schedule for the Hilo Marathon) I sorely, sorely regretted it. And yet, each week, I do the bare minimum of my already bare minimum workout plan.

And to make matters even worse...guess who also ruined two batches of peppermint brownies tonight? Who  knew that the candy canes I painstakingly crushed with my rolling pin would melt into the brownies and make them soggy and taste like toothpaste? (Probably most bakers...but that's besides the point.)

So to summarize- I am a slow, lazy runner.  And I can't bake. (I know, right?  I have a terrible life.)

;-)  So I'm not sure sitting around boo-hooing my lack of ambition or natural talent is the best use of my time. For one thing, I know that on race day (forget the baking for now), so much of it is mental. Regardless of my lackluster training and effort(s), I don't want to stand at the starting line feeling like a miserable, out of shape loser. There's no benefit to that (even if it is partly true).  I have to focus on what I have done, which if pressed to come up with a few things, would be:

• I am at least doing the long runs.  This weekend is a 24-miler, a terrifying distance, but one I'm super pumped to conquer.  I've never run so far without aid stations, so it will be a challenge figuring out how to store all the gels I'll need that day on my body, not to mention mapping out my run to ensure that I hydrate properly.  
• I have lost 3.5 lbs. since I began training in mid-September (without trying).  I've also kept off 4.5 pounds I lost a few months earlier on my first official diet in years.  No matter how lazy I am, I'm 8 pounds lighter than I was earlier this year, which means I'm a meaner, leaner Jolener. 

As for the baking, I was able to address the soggy mess and not have to waste it all-  I ate three pieces.  While watching Kourtney & Kim Take New York.  Who says I'm a loser?