I'm pretty sure I'm going to heaven now

I admit it.  After posting about wanting an air popcorn popper yesterday, I found myself gazing longingly at one today at Macy's.  I've seen it a few times now, and have been casually checking it out.  You know...introducing myself, seeing if we have chemistry together, gauging whether or not we want to spend our Friday nights together, and assessing whether I'm just attracted to the machine's sexy good looks (vs. its true content on the inside).  

What made it so tempting was that it was on sale for only $17.99 (from $30). I had an angel perched on one shoulder sweetly whispering, "You're supposed to be saving money...Christmas isn't about gifts...Baby Jesus wants you to give the money to starving children instead..."  And on the other shoulder sat the little red devil (who sounded a lot like my brother Joey) snarling, "It's only $17.99!  Your husband should be so lucky to get away with getting you such a cheap present!  Other women buy themselves expensive purses! Shoes! Make up! Perfume! You wear 6-year old stretched out underwear with the elastic poking out!  You TOTALLY deserve this popcorn popper!!!  Heck!  You should get THREE!!!"

I figured I'd let fate decide and see whether or not I could use a coupon to get it.  But when I found out the answer was "No" (you can't use Macy's coupons on anything electronic), I heard the little devil chime in again, "Psst!  Isn't microwave popcorn supposed to be harmful?  You're exposing your toddler to all those chemicals?!  If you love your child, you'll totally get the air popper!" 

Guys, if I haven't been abundantly clear about this in the past- I LOVE popcorn.  Back in the day, I used to make my own poor college student/ghetto version of the Hawaiian Hurricane (coconut oil, furikake, arare sprinkled on popcorn) in my studio apartment (which may or may not have had something to do with me gaining like 10 lbs that year) with an air popper I found on clearance at Longs for like $4.99. 

So as I stood in front of that popper, I had plenty of legitimate, selfless reasons to get it- it was on sale, the economy needed stimulating, Rich was so lucky I'm a cheap date, Ryan's delicate little lungs needed protection...

But I didn't get it.  

Not because I'm a martyr who intends to give all the money to the Salvation Army instead (I actually just got educated on how anti-gay their employment record is, and as an HR professional and lover of all gays...I just can't have that*)...but because I really do want to preserve the spirit of Christmas as it was intended- it's not about gifts for yourself.

*I really was going to give some extra $ to the Salvation Army a few days ago, but once I read about their record of discrimination, I gave the $ to the Human Rights Campaign (equality for all!) instead...tee hee.  I swear, I'm not bashing the thousands of hard working, beautiful, kind souls who volunteer to ring bells/collect for the SA, nor am I bashing the compassionate work that they do...  I'm not even saying I won't let my little boy continue to drop some cash into the kettle whenever he sees it (its just not the right time to explain to him why we would stop).  I would just rather support charities that make a more concerted effort to treat everyone on this planet equally- black, white, old, young, disabled, able bodied, sexy, ugly...you get the idea. ;-)

So Merry Christmas to me.  No pretty red and white air popcorn popper, but I'd much rather see my LGBT sisters and brothers get married in my lifetime than pop some corn a few times a month.  And if you're as confused as I am about how buying an air popper became a gay rights issue, join the club (regardless, I highly recommend that you also not buy one so your gay friends can get married too)!