2011 Kona Half Marathon Race Report

Giving my dad the high five...(mad props to my photographer Aunty Pat for managing to do the one thing I never thought was possible- make my arms look skinny). She's hired!

The aerial view from the chopper (and by 'chopper' I mean Rich and Ryan standing up on a hill). I'm the second person from the left (in gray/black).

How's this for consistency? I ran the half in 2:12 for the second year in a row! Though this was my third year running the Kona Half, I had predicted a much slower race this time around...partly because my Sunday runs were averaging a very lethargic 2:20-2:25, and partly because this year, I am eight pounds heavier. :-)

The night before the race I got about 5 hours of sleep (4 more than I got the last race, so this was great). I tried to sleep in until 5:15am (since I'm only a few miles from the starting line), but this wasn't quite enough time to get ready, as I ended up having to hurriedly apply sunscreen while race walking my way to the starting line over half a mile away. So I ended up getting there about 1-2 minutes before the race started! Still...perfect-o!

Let me just start off by saying that this was probably the best half marathon I've ever run. It wasn't my fastest, but I felt consistently upbeat, confident and strong the entire race. Normally I have a bit of nervous stomach cramping for the first 3-4 miles, and then miles 5-8 I start to convince myself that I've suddenly been struck with chronic fatigue syndrome (because there can be no other rational explanation as to why I feel so painfully, dreadfully exhausted so early in the race). But today, for whatever reason, I never felt any of those things and ran a totally different race. If every race could be like that...I can see why people get addicted!

Oh, and after running eleven official half marathons, I learned something for the first time yesterday- running in spandex is AWESOME. No sweaty, clingy wet shorts to constantly adjust all day, and NO chafing! I'm sold. I'll never run another race with running shorts again (even if it does mean exposing my ample thigh circumference to the rest of the scrawny, taut, zero body fat running world). I always train in them, but never race in them. No more wet diaper runs! Mama's converting over.

Passing my parents, Rich, Ryan (still half asleep in his Elmo pjs), my aunt and uncle at mile ten (that's their condo in the background...they had a really long walk to the race.)

That's not to say there weren't a few humbling, challenging moments for me during the race. The worst? Around mile 7, I heard my cell phone hit the road. It was then that I noticed the zipper on my Fuel Belt pouch wide open (which is how the phone fell out), and was horrified to see that that my last set of shot bloks had fallen out. You know, the ones that help carry you home when the legs and body and chest are screaming "No more!" I had just taken some at mile 6.5, so I knew that I would be okay until mile 9.5. But you know how it goes...once I realized I had no more energy source...I suddenly started to feel extremely tired...but moreover, panicked. I was so freaked out that I actually started to scan the roadway hoping to find someone else's dropped gels/blocks! (You see them on the road all the time, and you always feel soooo bad for the person who dropped them, but that person has never been me!). I didn't care if the gels were an expired off brand manufactured in a third world country and made of bat guano...I was gonna eat 'em! :-) Fortunately, at the next tent, I calmed down once I saw the Coke and Ultima and decided to risk an upset stomach and take those rather than risk running out of fuel. And of course, Ms. Iron Stomach had no problem with the blocks, water, Ultima and Coke all sloshing around together and did just fine. :-) I've never tested this theory, but I'm pretty sure I could down a moldy burger and fries mid-run and be just spiffy afterward.

My second humbling moment was that as good as I felt throughout the race, at no point did I feel like I could have done the full marathon. Which is funny, considering that the night before the race I was searching for a cheap flight to Oahu to see if I could afford to do the Honolulu Marathon in December. So as much as I have the occasional flight of fancy to do another full this year, I am well aware of my overall wimpiness and know that while 13.1 is manageable, that 26.2 is...not so much. And I have three lost toenails and one very yellowed one from Hilo to remind me of that everyday. :-)

In the interim, to keep myself motivated, I'm going to sign up for...

• The BikeWorks 10k in Waikoloa in a few weeks. I had been debating whether I should run it pushing Ryan, or let Ryan run in the Keiki Dash instead (since they're run concurrrently). However, as much as I love to see my little boy run (and this is very rare indeed), I think I'm going to force myself to run with him instead since I tend to structure most of my life around him anyway. :-)
• The Big Island Road Runners Mana Road Run in August. It's supposed to be a very scenic, challenging 10-miler through the hills of Waimea. Someone told me it's almost more like a hike in some places, so I'm very excited to challenge myself. I think it's a pretty small race, so it will likely be me and the occasional chicken out in the pastureland, but it still sounds super appealing to be able to run on dirt roads and in cooler temps.
• I'm also still waffling on whether or not to run the Volcano Half...it's a week or so before our Iceland trip, so I'm leaning toward not doing it since we should probably be saving money. It just kills me to not be able to support/run in a local half since there are so few here on the island (Ka'u had their inaugural half a few weeks ago, but I didn't think I should push it and do two halfs so close together).

So overall, I had a fantastic run, and was thrilled with how well everything went (not just my performance as a solid middle of the packer, but the overall race experience as well- the aid stations, volunteers, scenery). I'm always happy to have earned another bib to put on my wall (I keep bib numbers instead of medals), and can't wait to do it again.

The Experiment so far...

So after returning from Maui, I dutifully loaded up on groceries and provisions, intent on not spending a cent for at least a few days (since I didn't honestly think I'd last the entire seven days). Nonetheless, I didn't expect to suck as bad as I have. Seriously, I've failed miserably so far.

Day #1 (Mon)- I woke up and saw a package on the counter that I've been procrastinating mailing for weeks. I figured I'd mail it out only because I also needed a single tomato to make some guacamole for dinner, and the grocery store and post office are right next to each other. So even though I felt more than a little pathetic about failing on Day One, I figured it was only going to be a few bucks, tops.

Score for the day: C- (since I only spent about $12, but still couldn't help myself and bought a few extra things at the grocery store while I was there...whoops*)

*Wasn't going to mention that I also had to charge $987 on my charge card for some homeowner's insurance in the morning, but felt in the interest of journalistic integrity, that I should. If this drops my daily score to an F...well, crap.

Day #2 (Tue) - Success! A play date and a trip to the library in the morning, then an afternoon at the pool = $0 spent. Awesome.

Score for the day: A+

Day #3 (Wed) - Whoops. My doctor's office called and offered me an appointment that opened up due to a last minute cancellation. Rather than wait another 5 weeks for my scheduled one, I snatched it and spent $25 on the appointment. I figured medical appointments fall under the "Not my fault" category and was going to still reward myself with a B+ or something for not spending on anything else, but then Rich really, really wanted to go out to eat and I didn't want to say no because he rarely asks nowadays (due to school and work overwhelming him). So we not only ate a quick dinner out ($15), but then we also got Ryan some fro-yo ($5) and a new Berenstain Bears book from Kona Stories ($5).

Score for the day: D- (Loooser...)

Day #4 (Thu) - Sweetness. Ryan and I ended up not going to Music School (he overslept, thereby saving me $10). Instead, we baked Pumpkin Squares (to take to the health clinic Rich is volunteering at) before hitting the library and (Rich) taking Ryan to the pool so I could read my new books.

Score for the day: A+

While I did have two successful days, I almost feel like they would have happened naturally/organically anyway. I certainly don't recall chanting to myself "You cannot spend! You cannot spend!" on the days I didn't spend anything. And yet strangely enough, on the days I did remember- like on Day 1, I totally failed.

So I have three days remaining, and I think tomorrow should be okay since all we have planned is a beach play date in the afternoon. But lordy, apparently Ms. Spendy Pants might not be able to do even that without whipping out her wallet. :-( However, I AM more than a little worried about the weekend with two sets of family visitors coming, a golf tournament I'm volunteering at and a half marathon to run. Yikes. :-|

New page!

Check out my new page titled "Equality for All" (orange tabs at the top). I've been meaning to publicly declare my love and support for the LGBT community, and I'm so happy that I have finally have.

I would be so appreciative if you would consider donating to HRC in support of our LGBT brothers and sisters. And if you have a related story to share of either your own journey, or witnessing the journey of a loved one, I'd love to hear it.

Much aloha,

Jolene

Proud resident of the Rainbow State

Maui no ka oi...

This wasn't supposed to be a fun trip since we were there to say goodbye to my grandmother. However, we were lucky to sneak in a quick trip to Lahaina (although once there all I did was whine about how hot it was and sat under a large banyan tree eating gummy rings, so I'm pretty sure it doesn't count),and lots of fun for Ryan while we were there!

Our hotel (the Maui Seaside) was older and simple, but centrally located, clean and had a tiny stretch of beach that Ryan loved running on with this uncle. I brought his swimsuit, but I had totally forgotten about Maui's frequent hurricane-force like winds that would have made it freeeezing.

Even though Joey was just here a few weeks ago for Ryan's birthday and Mothers Day, he was able to fly back for a few days in Kona and on Maui.

Unfortunately, Rich had to work, so Joey sent him this staged picture of Ry in his pjs (so he would freak out at what Riz was eating for breakfast) to remind him of what he was missing.

Maui is famous for its Tasaka guri guri ice cream. I'm not such a huge fan, but my brother Joel INHALES that stuff. We were in Maui for three days, and we went there FOUR times. On the plus side, Tasaka's is in the same mall as Whole Foods...so I got to load up on a few treats and meals while we were there! Super jealous of anyone who gets to live near one!

The highlight of Ryan's trip (the other being Fun Factory) was being able to ride the Queen Ka'ahumanu Mall's Cubby Express Train...everyday...over and over again. Trains are pretty much the love of his life right now.

Each ride cost $6 ($3 per person), so I'd like to think we have part ownership in it.

I have pictures of him in the blue car, the black tender, the red caboose...you name it!

He also got to go to the Fun Factory three times...total excessive gluttony for a 3-year old. But since we don't have a young child-friendly arcade in Kona, we went a little overboard since there were two Fun Factory's within a minute drive of the hotel.
It just wouldn't be the same without Uncle Joey there...

His first and only ride in a Hummer...which by the way, did you know that every single ride costs $1-2 nowadays?

The digger was totally anticlimactic, but that didn't stop him from hopping on twice and then trying to scramble down once he remembered how boring they were. :-)

His favorite game was driving this car...I think he actually scored about 2-3 points per game (average score was about 24)...but by accident. Because I learned that he drives like an blind, alcoholic, narcoleptic NASCAR driver.

His favorite ride was this simulated roller coaster, which I thought would be waaaaay too much for him, but he LOVED IT. He begged to go back on it constantly and would wake up either mumbling or shouting about wanting to ride it some more.

Getting spoiled by two of this uncles...the third one (the gaming one of course) was off earning the hundreds of tickets he was tasked with earning each day so that Ryan could "win" a prize.

Riding the carousel with his Fun Factory buddy, Uncle JJ!

The family posing in the hotel lobby, less Rich (who was working), Lynne (also working), Mika, Kenichi & Riki (who are still in Japan).

Saying goodbye to Uncle Joey at the airport with his famous "arms and legs hug" (as Ryan likes to call it).

Flying home on the tiny, 9-seater propeller airplane (he loved it of course)! It totally surprised me that there was no co-pilot on board, nor any TSA presence whatsoever. Not to mention any overhead bins. So no carry-ons! ;-) And here's the state of inter-island flying...even though it was on the 'low cost airline', it was still about $100 per person for the short 40-minute flight. :-(

Deplaning all by himself because he is a 'big boy!'

Ry's 100-yard dash race!

2008 - 5+ minutes

2009 - 1 1/2 minutes

2011 - 40+ seconds!!!

Amazing improvement, especially since he insisted on running in his Crocs! ;-) But best of all, unlike last week's parade where half the crowd saw a sullen, bored face...during today's race he was Mr. Aloha, smiling and waving to everyone along the way! Sooo so proud of my boy!

As a reward, he got to go on a water slide afterward! Unfortunately, his little body caught so much air that it kept slamming down hard on the slide and after three times, he said, "I'm all done mommy. That hurts my body very much!" So we took him to the Kona Aquatic Center pool instead and he loved that. We also plan to take him swimming tomorrow (it's a Sunday tradition), which will mark his third day in a row of swimming (since yesterday he went to a fun pool party with his friends). :-)

He may not be speedy on land (let's just say we weren't in the top half today!), but he sure is becoming a little fish in the water!

We're back!

We're back from our three days in Maui (that's Ryan flipping through his in-flight magazine on our crop duster propellar airplane). 'Twas lots of fun despite having a somber purpose. Will post pics and a trip commentary shortly!

Catching up...

We finally got our CD (of pictures) taken with our underwater camera! And can I just say that:

1) Despite someone (who shall remain nameless) complaining that an underwater camera was, I believe his exact words were 'frivolous'...that this certain someone still took over 90% of the pictures taken. :-)

And:

2) We will NEVER be underwater photographers. Ever.

Not bad for Ryan's first ever underwater photo! He was told to not breathe, look at mommy, smile and wave...and he did! Daddy on the other hand, looked...not at mommy.

Once daddy took the camera, his only instructions from me were, "Make sure Ryan hides my gut." And this he did, so great pic!

The two boys in the pool!

Rich said at any given time he was under the lagoon's waterfall, that there were about 4-5 turtles swimming around him or resting below. And though my dear Jacque Cousteau valiantly tried, he took about 15 pictures of partial turtle heads, fins, or blurry darkness. This is the one photo that DID come out, however, and I think it's great!

This past Saturday we went to our first King Kamehameha Day parade (in Kona). Because we were in the parade, this was the only Princess (each island is always represented by a princess) we saw.

I love the horse poop scooping carts that follow each Princess' group! They're so decorative and festive about doing such an un-enviable job!

The day before the parade, Ryan asked me if we were going to see clowns, and I told him that no, not at this kind of parade. And so of course, whoops. We saw one! And he happily grabbed Ryan (which I think gave Ryan a mini stroke) to chat with him.

Rich, Ryan and I marched with the Kona Hospital crew and brought our little red wagon as back up in case Ryan got tired. Well, we grossly underestimated how lazy (and perhaps scared) Ryan would be, because he rode it the entire parade route.

The good news is- despite having looking like a deer in headlights, he did dutifully wave to the crowd the entire route!

It was our first time marching, so we have big plans for next year:

1. Pimping the wagon out in full floral decor!

2. Letting Ryan hand out candy to his fellow keiki (we didn't think we should since we were representing the hospital, but since others did...)! Why not?

Later that night I took him to the annual Obon Festival at the Keauhou Shopping Center (his third year in a row)! He was riveted by the taiko drumming and bon dancing, even getting up from his new elephant camp chair to dance a few times.

The rest of the weekend we spent swimming and hanging out with my two brothers who both came back to town so we can all fly out to Maui together tomorrow. :-)

The little rascal

Straight from my barely THREE year old's mouth: "Look! I have big chi-chis, mommy!"

Someone tried to put on his underwear all by himself the other day, so NO WAY was I gonna point out that they were backward. ;-)

And on that note...someone hasn't used a diaper in two days! He's been using the potty about 10-15 times per day. Progress.

A few other other fun notes...

~I just booked a ticket (courtesy of mommy & daddy's credit card) for Joey to come back to Kona this weekend for our trip to Maui next week! Yippie!

~I am soon to be employed again by a company that I used to work for (and dearly love)!

~I am sewing leis today (just call me Ms. Aloha!) for our participation in Ryan's first parade (King Kamehameha Day) tomorrow.

Cutting up the card...for a week.

2011 has been good for us. Rich has been lucky to pick up some extra shifts, and because we live in a situation that allows us to put away some cash most months...we feel blessed. And so because of this, I've made the decision to take part in a little experiment that while completely unoriginal, will hopefully impact and educate me. I plan on not spending any money for an entire week, and then donating the money that I would have spent to the recovery efforts in Japan. By doing this, I hope that I will become both more mindful of senseless, excessive spending, as well as honor the spirit of giving.

I want to keep it simple- no movies, eating out, shopping, gas tank filling, online purchases, Farmers Market, etc. for seven solid days. Even though I have the admitted benefit of being able to plan ahead (it's not like I'll have an empty tank of gas and no food in the house), I'm actually still a bit nervous. What if Rich has a last minute potluck at work? What if I get invited to an unexpected birthday party? What if Ryan's potty suddenly reaaaally stinks (this just happened last night) and we need a new one? What if I get sick and need to go to the doctor?

It embarrasses me to admit that these scenarios actually do fill me with anxiety (since none appear to be life ending scenarios). Especially since for many people, this is reality- that there are no emergency funds or credit cards to help bail them out. So I feel more than a little pathetic feeling so apprehensive about doing this, which is precisely why I should be doing it. I mean really, what has happened to me?! When did exercising a little self restraint and not having access to a credit card become so terrifying? Did I not once live off of $100 a month in college?

I plan on doing this at the end of next week, mostly because Ryan and I will be heading over to Maui for three days midweek for a service for my grandmother (who was born and raised there). But because a part of me thinks I'll conveniently try to weasel my way out of this, I did something that will force me to see this through.

About a month ago, I saw a KHON news report that aired in the islands about the recovery efforts in Japan. They showed what looked to be mostly senior citizen-aged evacuees sitting on the floor of a school gymnasium in tiny, makeshift cubicles made of cardboard, somberly eating instant ramen and rice balls. It broke my heart to see these struggling, stoic, uncomplaining seniors eating such nutrition-less, convenience food. :-(

So I hunted down one of the gentleman featured on the special . He's a local boy from Hawaii who owns a restaurant in Tokyo (Ryoji Soranaka's Ogo Ono Loa is a popular gathering spot for locals in the Akasaka district) who periodically makes the 7-hour drive up to Ichinomaki to deliver fresh produce. I asked him if I could send a little money for him to use on food, and he agreed to do so on his next trip there. If you'd like to see a small clip of the program that shows him visiting the area, click here.

Though part of me knows that whatever amount I send will be trivial, this story keeps me focused:

Once upon a time, a man was walking on the beach, as he did most mornings.

One of these mornings, he was walking along the shoreline and saw someone in the distance methodically picking up objects and throwing them into the ocean.

He walked closer, wondering why the man was throwing things into the ocean, and once he was within earshot he called out to the man and asked "What are you doing?

The man stopped what he was doing for a moment and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean", and continued with what he was doing.

May I ask why you are throwing starfish into the ocean?" the man asked.

"If I don't, they will die when the tide goes out".

The man looked up and down the beach and saw many more starfish along the beach and thought that it was a pointless endeavor. So he said to the young man, "What's the point? There are hundreds of starfish all along this beach, what possible difference can it make?"

The young man smiled to himself as he reached down and picked up another starfish and threw it into the ocean before he replied, "Made a difference to that one".

So whenever I feel helpless, I remind myself that if I can put a smile on an 80-year old man's face when he's given an apple to eat with his ramen that day, I will have made a difference.

Kiholo Bay

So far, so good! Three goals down.

1) I started my cooking inspiration board and made the pumpkin pancakes yesterday. They were...eh. Thank goodness I tossed a ton of chopped walnuts in there or I would have been tempted to chuck 'em (since we're usually spoiled with sweet, delicious banana pancakes). Even though I like the idea of sneaking a few extra vitamins, minerals and antioxidants into an otherwise nutritionless meal, I'm not sure it's a keeper. Still glad I tried it though!

2) I started my craft binder! I don't think I'll ever be one to enjoy arts and crafts, but I still want my son to love them. So the plan for tomorrow is to make corrals for his plastic zoo animals with popsicle sticks. Yay.

3) After being on my bucket list for about a year...we finally went to Kiholo Bay!!! And it was soooo worth the wait.

The plan was to run 13-14 miles and have the boys pick me up before continuing on out there, but it was soooo scorching hot that I quit at mile 12. :-) We asked my dad to come along and serve as Tour Guide since I'd asked him to hike out there months ago & scout the area for us. Spoiled? Yes! But I didn't want to get lost in the hot, stark lava fields looking for the collapsed underground lava tube pool while shlepping around a beach bag and an exhausted three-year old. And I'm so glad he was able to scout it out, because we never would have noticed the unmarked entrance to the road (fyi...it's about a half mile past mileage marker 83). The roughly mile-long gravel road was surprisingly well paved, which allowed us to drive all the way down to the ocean in our 2WD sedan. Here's a picture of the sign that greeted us at the lava tube-

From where we parked our car to the lava tube pond was about a third of a mile north. The beach itself was very unique- a black sand beach covered with smooth black pebbles. And we couldn't believe how many people were (illegally) camping down there! It was like going to Pine Trees in that there was tent after tent pitched under the kiawe trees, but there was a slightly different vibe. It seemed a bit more peaceful, blissful, slow, serene and relaxing. We loved it. So we're definitely going camping there this summer once Rich is done with school!So check this out. Is it awesome or what?! As I'd mentioned earlier, it's a lava tube filled with natural spring water that has collapsed in a few places, allowing sunlight (& people) to come through! It's like heaven on earth, really.

The mostly fresh water pond is very, very cold compared to the ocean. And the rocks and ladder are very, very dangerously slippery, but once you acclimate yourself to the temperature, it's very refreshing! Look Ma! No waist! :-) It felt surreal to be walking around inside the tube...Ryan was chilled, chattering and shivering within seconds of hopping in, but like me, he couldn't wait to explore.
The length of the entire lava tube was maybe only about 25 yards across, but because we happened to come right in between waves of people, we got to enjoy it all to ourselves. My father had originally gone on a weekday and said it was totally empty, but I get the feeling that weekends bring a steady stream of campers, hikers and tourists there to cool off and explore.
Our tour guide/scout dutifully handing us the camera from up above!
Once we were done, our little Snack King had some taro bread and arare (rice crackers) on a warm stone above the tube so he could warm up his little body.
After the tube, we hit the black sand beach! Grandpa tried to teach Ryan how to skip stones, and later, how rocks can be toys (they made a village below).All in all, Kiholo Bay was a mixture of classic, old Hawaii (we saw a number of wild goats on the way down, primitive roads and animal corrals from the paniolo days) and new (Loretta Lynn's condemned house, the Paul Mitchell owner's Bali House, and Earl Bakken, the inventor of the pacemaker's house). I don't think Keanalele was really a known entity while I was growing up (or if it was, it certainly wasn't well known), and there definitely wasn't any public access road (you probably had to hike), so I'm glad to see it so easily accessible to the public. We didn't get to hike north to the old fishpond and snorkel, so we'll leave that on the to-do list when we return to camp in a few months. :-)

Goodbye Granny

Florence Kimiyo Ching

1925 - 2011

Today, at about 3:15pm, my grandmother died. I feel a mixture of great relief (that she is no longer suffering in such horrific agony), and tremendous sadness for the life that she lived. I don't quite know how to describe the relationship I had with her...it wasn't terribly complicated, but it wasn't traditional either.

Like many children of immigrants in the Hawaii, my grandmother was born into extremely difficult circumstances. To make matters worse, she & her seven other siblings lost their mother at a very early age (childbirth complications), and her youngest brother was given up for adoption. Her widowed father never remarried, but managed to keep the rest of the family together. My grandmother never provided much detail about her childhood other than to say it was very, very tough.

She provided even fewer details about her adult life. But I do know that tragedy struck again when her husband, my grandfather, died just years into their marriage. And like her father, my grandmother never remarried. She raised my mother in a very strict, controlled environment, and even with us, her beloved grandchildren- was very secretive, proud, fiercely independent, a bit abrasive, aloof, complained constantly, notoriously impatient, sanctimonious and well...a bit difficult to get along with at times. As harsh as that all sounds, I know that my grandmother would have agreed with me, as she was never, ever one for polite, fluffy, silly bulls&$t.

And lord-y(!) did she have her favorites. I was not one of them. Even though my mother and I were absolutely, 100% the only two people she ever relied on...we were not her favorites. In my case, I think this was because I was too much like my father (who ha ha, was still about 50 slots further down the list than ever I ever was). I was too outspoken, too bossy, too unwilling to listen politely in silence to her like others would.

I overlooked her blatant favortism for years, but about 6 months ago, when she really started to deteriorate, I finally started to crack. The breaking point was when she said certain things to my mother about her beloved favorites (none of whom I ever blamed, by the way), that I finally confronted her. I exasperatedly pointed out to her that it was ME who was there taking on errands, ME helping her bathe, me cooking her meals, ME taking out her trash, ME washng her dishes & putting them away, ME getting her mail, ME taking her to her blood tests, ME who came to give her pedicures when she couldn't bend over any more, ME who she called whenever she needed help... Not her favorite family member #1, and not her favorites #2, 3 or 4 either. She got very agitated, sort of apologized, refused to talk about it any further, and that was that. I never did find the remorse, appreciation or recognition I was looking for, but I at least said what I needed to say...and I think she was more aware of canonizing others in my presence after that. Still, it was very difficult for me to forgive her/ignore the grudge that had formed in my heart. I tried to tell myself that her behavior was due to aging, but it wasn't the truth, as her favorites had been formed years before she ever went south.

So why did I love her and continue to help her? Because she was at heart, a good caring person. She was unfailingly honest. She was fiercely independent and hated asking anyone for a thing. She had the sharpest mind of any 86-year old I've ever known. She was so tough that after fifty, FIFTY years of smoking, she quit by herself, cold turkey. In her seventies. She was so resilient that she didn't catch so much as a single cold in over 30 years. You could not leave her home without toting a plastic bag filled with canned goods from her pantry that she would insist she wanted you to have. And she was very thoughtful and organized. I know for an absolute fact that despite having a daughter, a son in law, four grandchildren, two grandchildren-in-law, & three great grandchildren...that she never once missed a single birthday or Christmas gift. EVER.

I will never forget the Barbie salon shop she gave me for Christmas. I will never forget the dresses she sewed for both me and my dolls. She gave me my first manicure(s), patiently filing and painting my nails. She introduced me to butter brickle ice cream cones. She took me on the bus to Ala Moana and let me pull the string for our stop. When I hit middle school, she paid for my first pair of contacts so I wouldn't have to wear my dorky glasses anymore. And later, when I moved off island to go to school, Japan and California...without ever speaking about it, she and I wrote wrote each other weekly letters for the better part of ten years. Ten years. Though she was a retiree who was for the most part, a shut in...she never failed to find enough to write at least 3-4 pages to me each week. So despite her less than grandmotherly behavior at times, we had a relationship. A connection that bonded us. There was love.

Over the last 6-8 months, even though she had always zealously guarded her personal and financial affairs from all of us, she finally trusted me to start paying her bills, opening her bank statements, speaking to her doctors and insurers, etc. She trusted me. She may not have loved me best, but she trusted me. Whenever doctors would ask her one too many repetitive questions, she would turn to me and ask me to answer for her (for her to relinquish this, it was unthinkable). And so I know that she loved me, that she trusted me, and that she appreciated me.

But whatever her flaws were, because we all have them- I know that her greatest, proudest achievement in life, was the large, growing, vibrant & healthy family she helped create. She deeply loved us all, and in the end, struggled to live to continue to be with us all.

I guess at this point, all I have left to say, is that I hope and pray that the God she so strongly believed in was there to greet her as she passed from our world to the next. I had a hard time believing he was there the last few weeks and days as the morphine failed her and she struggled to swallow, speak and breathe. So I hope He was there, that her husband was there, that her beloved sister Miyo was there...and that the angels carried her home so that she can finally feel whole again, smile down on us, and love and forgive us as we have loved and forgiven her.

I love you, Grandma. You gave us life and the best that you had, and it was plenty enough.

Goals, goals, goals

Happy 14th anniversary, Rich!

(This photo was from our 10th anniversary renewal of vows party...one of the best nights of my life!)

We're almost halfway through the year, and now that it's summer, I feel myself slowly but surely slipping into lazy mode. So I thought I'd take this time to set a few summer goals for myself. It's a great time to do so what with Keni & Riki in Japan, Ryan out of school, and Rich so deeply engrossed in school/work/clinicals.

1. Work a little. Just a little.
After Ryan was born, I found it very difficult to balance motherhood, and rapidly went from F/T to P/T to Consultant to Totally Unemployed. Though initally it was traumatic, I have since come to totally embrace the new lifestyle. However, it's time to dust off my brain, earn some cash for the family and freshen up those job skills...so if all goes well, I'll be working with two former clients a bit this summer.

2. Learn how to make peanut butter mochi. Stat!
It's one of my family's favorites, and something I've wanted to do for awhile. But I've been putting it off for years because it's a lot more labor intensive than my other go-to mochi favorites (butter, pumpkin, blueberry). I think Ryan will love helping me too!

3. Plan a 2nd camping trip to Pine Trees.
Now that we have the instant pop up tent that I just haaaad to have, there's no excuse to not plan a quick overnight trip for Ryan. Our recent trip to Waikoloa reminded us how important it is to totally unplug from life and just hang out together. Because Rich is still in school until mid-July, I think I'm gonna shoot for Admissions Day weekend in August (is it horrible to be nearly 37-years old and have had no idea what Admissions Day was until I Googled it?). Psst- it celebrates when the state of Hawaii was admitted to the union!

4. Work on improving my diet.
After years of maintaining the same weight, I put on about 10 pounds over the last year. Needless to say, I miss that feeling of empowerment, strength and confidence. So I need to get serious about this before I find myself in the same position I was in back in '05- chubby, sweaty and lookin' an awful lot like a dude. Longtime readers- you know what I'm talkin' 'bout!

5. Start a cooking inspiration board (& inspiration book for projects).
I can scarcely believe it myself, but I subscribe to both Parents and Family Fun magazines. I frequently find great recipe ideas (pumpkin pancakes, sweet potato chili, crockpot veggie lasagna) and creative, simple craft ideas (giant balloon 'lollipop' decor, felt picture frames), but fail to do them. So I've decided to cut out each recipe/craft that entices me, pin it up to my bulletin board, and attempt to do them within 30 days (or toss 'em). Good incentive!

6. Explore Kiholo Bay.
It's been on my bucket list for over a year (I think), and it's only 25 min. away. There's no excuse for not going. Well, there's a good excuse for this weekend (since Rich is doing 8-hours of volunteer clinical work at a clinic this Saturday), but maybe we can swing it on Sunday when we attempt to celebrate our increasingly belated 14th anniversary. I'm thinking I'll try to run part of the way out there and get my weekly long run out of the way as well. :-) The half is only four weeks away!