Egypt: The Trip East

Holy hell. What a hellish couple of days it's been. We're still on the Sinai peninsula and leave tomorrow back to Cairo. I can't say I'm not happy to get the f*&k outta Dodge. We left Cairo a few days ago on what was supposed to be a 7.5 hour ride to Sinai. In order to get an idea of just what this experience was like, do the following for me, would you?

Picture an old, ragged bus seat. On this seat is a collection of vomit, diarrhea, sweat, body odor and possibly another male fluid you shouldn't have to see unless renting porn. Now imagine bouncing up and down on this chair in the sweltering heat for mile after winding mile. For EIGHT AND A HALF HOURS with blaring, Egyptian pop music. Then imagine finally being able to get off of the seat, a few hours late, only to be dropped off by your surly, unhelpful bus driver in the pitch black sandy desert with your heavy backpacks and no hotel in sight.

And there you have it- the start of our wild and fun adventure to Sinai!

It's gotten a little bitter since then (emphasis on the word little). After being abandoned in the pitch black in the middle of the barren wilderness we were able to catch a ride (and by 'catch' I mean get stuck paying the equivalent of $5 per foot for a 3-mile drive) to the monastery guesthouse we were staying at (and by 'staying at' I mean we paid more money to sleep in the smelly hut than we've paid to stay at four-star hotels). I can still hear the monks laughing at us now...

Anyway, after sitting on the aforementioned scary bus and bouncing around for over 8 hours, we staggered into our smelly hut only to be told that the only bus that was leaving the next day was at 10:00am. TEN AM? We nearly puked on that fu&*ing bus all day long only to have to leave in a few hours!?! Needless to say, I was pissed. I sulked through our scary dinner (I can only assume it was meat, but I wouldn't know since I snootily refused to even touch it with my fork. In true prissy fashion, I covered it with my napkin and ate all the rice around it) until we came up with a plan.

We ended up waking up at 3:15am to hike up Mt. Sinai in time for the sunrise. Let's just say that as difficult as it was, it was probably one of the highlights of my life. We walked uphill for 2+ hours with a shared flashlight on rocky terrain, with basically no idea where to go, starving, cold, tired and a lot freaked out. I also learned the hard way that those sweet, innocent grinning camels frequently emit a loud, Chewbacca-like roar.

Unfortunately, I learned this at 3:30am in the pitch black with a screeching camel's mouth about 12-inches from my ear (that I couldn't see). If I was going to receive the next set of commandments from God that morning, I think he quickly changed his mind after he heard the string of profanity from my mouth following the camel incident. Let's just say I'm pretty sure I was the only 'pilgrim' that day who God would rather not return to his sacred mountain again...ever.

Anyhow, the walk up was semi-traumatic, but exhilarating. Though frightening a large percentage of the time, it got less scary with each step. Because I am not good with describing touching moments, I will just say this- watching the sunrise at the summit with Rich was awe-inspiring.

We returned back to the monastery by 8:30am for some breakfast (which was the equivalent of hot dog buns and coffee...damn monks) and then toured the monastery, where we saw the descendant of the Burning Bush (we had expected a withering, thousand-year old plant and instead saw a giant 15-ft. tall flowing tree). From there we had to haul ass to catch the bus to the city we're in now- Dahab.

Dahab is described as the alternative to the over-developed, commercial, overcrowded tourist city of Sharm el-Shikh (the resorts that were bombed six times this summer). And here's what I've learned after having spent some time here- I prefer the over-developed, commercial overcrowded tourist city over this pot-smoking hippie crap. I saw camps for backpackers that were nothing more than filthy, frond-covered concrete blocks and flea-covered mattresses. Our resort is amazing ($40 for a four-star hotel), but it's hard to relax when there is all this poverty and trash right outside the hotel walls. Not fun.

Anyway, will probably write more from Cairo in a few days.