More than a Mom

Like most mothers, there are many days where I find myself feeling more like a chauffeur and personal assistant than anything else. This isn't a bad thing (I truly feel blessed to have the opportunity to focus my attention on my child). But I also know it's a good idea, for own sense of self worth, to make an effort to do things I want to do vs. things I think I should do.

COOKING I still don't cook very much (I'm just not very good at it). Last week, Ryan and I cooked Hawaiian style chicken long rice (below).  It was far from great, but not bad either. That's a best case scenario for me. A few days I also made mostaccioli and fajitas (again, we're not searching for greatness here). And today, while in the garden, I picked kale to steam with butter/garlic for lunch, and basil to make us some fresh pesto to freeze. Sometimes, mere effort and mediocrity is winning.

PURGING I love, love, love once we're done with a garage sale. It means the house and garage have been decluttered, and Ryan has some college savings cash. This summer's purge was a little more intense, as I've definitely jumped on the Marie Kondo 'Spark Joy' bandwagon. As a reward, I bought myself two sets of these closet organizers. I think they'd look much better in a dresser than on closet shelves, but hey...beggars can't be choosers. I'm just glad I don't have a messy piles of clothing falling over onto each other anymore.

PLANTING Last week I moved forward on my first, small-scale attempt at manual aquaponics. I got about a hundred guppies from my parents, ordered clay rocks and planted two varieties of lettuce and some tomatoes. I still need to construct some basic netted pots to hold the (future) seedlings and get plants for the fish to lay eggs under, but I'm getting closer to fruition. I tell myself that IF this very amateurish attempt is successful (and I'll be honest, the odds are not looking good based on my skill and knowledge level), I'll be more willing to drop a little cash on an actual system. Until then, I'm keeping it low budget and small. (As a reminder, I have failed at vermi-composting twice now. A thousand worms are turning in their graves knowing I've taken possession of a hundred guppies.).

READING I've also been hitting the library weekly, partly because we make a half-arsed attempt to participate in the summer reading program, but mostly because I've fallen hard and fast for the writings of Anchee Min. I've read four of her books so far (Becoming Madame Mao, Red Azalea, Empress Orchid and The Cooked Seed), and am determined to finish the remaining 3-4 off in the next few weeks. I got distracted last week by another book on Scientology, because I'm fascinated by the oddball that is Tom Cruise and his minions. I have no idea why I'm drawn to cult/sect-like groups (Scientologists, the Amish, Communists, Nazis, fundamentalist Mormons, ISIS), but I am, and always have been. If you happen to know of any group I'm overlooking, please do share.

RUNNING I'm just starting to build up my weekly mileage again...partly because I porked right back up again, and partly because for the first time in ten months...I'm almost injury free! The healing stalled after I got the TENS machine, so I splurged on some new Hoka shoes that a few friends recommended.  Even at 55% off, they were still $80, but I think they're gonna be worth it.

Anything that motivates or helps me to run is a blessing...as I know what I look like without it (like a short, fat Asian man). I'm hoping the Hokas help me gear up for my next long run (a friend and I have hatched some very loose plans for an ultra later this year or early next). Between some newly tightened shorts, our upcoming run and my new shoes, I'm definitely motivated to log some miles these days.

SMILING My child still remains the focus of my world, which means he will always still bring me more joy (and I suppose, pain) than anything else. His summer seems to be going well. When he's happy, I'm happy. Unlike other summers, we've been at the pool a lot more this year. We're often there 5 days a week (three lessons, a couple times with friends).

On one of those fun days, Ry partied like a rock star for over five hours at a friend's birthday party. I will say that their eternity pool, complete with a hot tub, swim up pool bar, faux lava rock slide and diving platform was stunning. I officially have pool envy even though I know we cannot afford neither the pool, nor even the monthly maintenance of a pool. But that's okay. Because we have a pool too...and unlike their lame pool, ours can be deflated and folded up.

LEARNING My kid has me feeling some relief this week. The first week of summer was rough, as we struggled with getting him to complete his schoolwork each day. I was exasperated and starting to lose my shiz. This week, we found a better rhythm and groove once we created checklist that he has to complete each day. It lists the obvious (to you and me) tasks I was tired of repeating each day such as teeth brushing, changing out of his pjs, along with each daily school assignment and a few simple chores. He has to do them all before he can ask to play with friends or have tech time. The checklist has been helpful and requires much less nagging on my part.

I also taught him how to look at our shared family calendar on my phone so he can look at our schedule each day and figure out how/when to get his list done. This is still a work in progress, but I see promise.

We're also working on teaching him how to pack what he needs each day. I've always done it myself, but I can see the importance of having him do it himself. This summer, I hope that he'll learn how to pack what he needs for karate, soccer, swim or dance on his own. Eight is a reasonable age to start taking more responsibility for these kinds of tasks, right? I don't expect him to be perfect, but I admit I haven't been very good at teaching independence and personal responsibility (I tend to enable, but I've learned from watching friends who don't, and admire their kid's ability to care for themselves).

I still have plenty more I can be doing (there's lots of reading and TV watching, believe me), but I have no plans to do much more so long as we have gradual forward momentum. It's summer, right?