Big Island Ziplining...The Umauma Experience!

Happy (early) birthday to me! After a year of talking about it (we almost did in last year in Alaska), Rich surprised me with a zip lining adventure! And it was even more than beautiful than we ever could have imagined! The Big Island never ceases to amaze me.

There are two companies on the Big Island that offer zip lining- one is in Hawi/Kohala Mountains and markets itself as more of an eco-friendly canopy (amongst the trees) tour, and the other is just outside of Hilo, near the Umauma Falls. We chose the latter one (which bills itself as The Umauma Experience) because it's the only one actually over waterfalls, ponds and streams, and also has the longest zipline (over a quarter of a mile in length) on the island.

The large gated entrace to the Umauma Experience (totally reminiscent of Jurassaic Park!)

The drive from Kona was roughly 2 hours long, which was approximately 30 min. longer than Rich thought it was. Which meant that much to our dismay, we ended up being 'that couple'. You know, the one that always shows up late, after orientation, running in breathless and mumbling about traffic...all while everyone else in the group is sitting there, suited up and waiting. Um...whoops.

The Visitor Center (still under construction)
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After quickly signing the required waivers, we quickly suited up at the Visitor Center and then hopped in a van with the rest of the group (there were 10 of us, plus our two guides) for a quick drive up a guava tree-covered mountain to our first line.

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The equipment/gear we wore made me feel like a cross between an S & M loving acrobat, a construction worker (since every step I took made those jingly 'tools banging together' sound) and a prisoner on a chain gang. But I have to admit- everything was quite light, comfortable and never chafed. So even though we were suited up for about 4 hours, it was never uncomfortable or hot.

Rich & and I about to descend on line #2 together (the only dual line on the course, and the longest continuous line on the island)

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The weather was just pristine for that side of the island- no wind, rain, vog...just blue skies and sunshine! Our first (of nine lines) was a pretty basic one since it was sort of an introductory 'test' for everyone. And this was nice- because it felt like we went from hauling a** in our car to standing on a scary airborne plank wearing our S & M gear in a manner of minutes!

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Thankfully, we were told that the guides do EVERYTHING for you- attaching you to the line, breaking you later as you come back in, pulling you in if need be, and then unstrapping you from the line. We were also given a brief tutorial in how to speed up (assume the 'cannonball' position), slow down (assume what they called the 'starfish' position by extending your four limbs outward) and how to manipulate the ropes with your arms if you didn't want to spin around while on the lines (since your body will naturally start to move around once you're zipping, and it's quite normal to end up facing backward or sidewards and not facing forward at the end of line. This isn't a problem per se, but I liked to control which direction I wanted to look at and found hurtling toward the end of the line at top speeds while backward a bit unnerving).

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However, since manipulating the ropes required a bit of upper body strength, brains (you had to do everything in the opposite direction you wanted your body to go in) and finesse (it was easy to overcompensate and end up spinning too much in the opposite direction), you can guess who will NOT be getting any calls from Cirque du Soleil anytime soon! :-(

The views of the forestry up there were stunning...eerily quiet, and had spectacular 180 degree ocean views the whole time. Everyone in our group made a comment about leaving everything in our 'outside' lives behind, pitching a tent and living off the land! (I'm pretty sure I could learn how to cook guava 20 different ways, right?)

So the entire morning that we drove out there, it had never occured to me that I might actually be scared. I'm no more afraid of heights than the average person (though I found skydiving to be quite terrifying), so I just assumed I'd feel pretty safe since I would be securely strapped to thick metal line. And while I was never actually terrified, the first few times I did step off that airborne plank my heart did speed up a bit and my palms got clamy! So while I never felt strong fear, I have to admit I never felt confident or cavalier about the whole thing either!

Case in point- we were told that we could basically do anything we wanted while on the line- we could use one hand, no hands, hang upside down, spin around, etc. Notice me clutching the line with both hands, holding on for dear life? Yep, that's how wild and crazy I got.

Okay...so I did eventually let go of one arm to shoot a few shakas for the camera, but I swear to you, that's as gutsy as I got!

Rich, on the other hand, was a friggen' maniac! But more on that later...

I loved this tree line!

This is me, being a jerk and pretending to look at my watch...since much of the 3.5 - 4.0 hour tour is spent waiting your turn to zip. It takes each guide a minute to hook you up, a minute or so for you to work your way down the line, then another minute to get unstrapped and prepare the line for the next person. So for the twelve of us in our group (the ten of us and our two guides), you could safely figure that it took about 20 min. to get of all across each of the nine lines.

This is Rich, seconds away from hot doggin' it and doing this...

...turning upside down and letting go of the line! He did this quite a few times, as well as filming his ride with one arm extended out in front of him!

I couldn't believe the number of tiered waterfalls and ponds that we saw on the course! I want to say that a little over half of the lines were over water, and the other half were over/between trees, gullies, etc.

I think this line (#5 if I recall correctly) was the scariest, because you descended onto a platform that had no (get this)...safety rails anywhere! It was like standing on a tall, narrow telephone pole with a board attached to the top of it...and then on top of that, you had to STAND there, attached to the pole, and wait for everyone else to come in before leaving from the very same platform to get to the next line. It was freaky standing up there swaying and bouncing around with 12 other people! It was even scarier when I nearly didn't make it all the way to the platform (some of us were losing momentum from the headwind). Thankfully, I made it just far enough to get pulled in (and no one had to rappel out to get me!).

After one of the lines we had to take this long walk on a path through some bushes. All I needed was a torch so I could vote one of my tribe members out! ;-)

The prettiest, triple-tiered falls I've ever seen- Umauma Falls! I swear- I am adding a hike and a swim at the falls (technically they're on privately owned land) onto my bucket list!

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I forgot to mention that each platform was located next a beautiful, well constructed little hut with amazing views and benches both to protect us from the elements (rain, sun, etc.) and allow us to gaze at the scenery. And halfway through the experience, we were given a light snack (nothing special) in one of them since the tour runs through the lunch hour.

The last line carried you over some water back over to the Visitor Center, where were given the option of a final experience (only half of our group opted to do it) of being attached to what they called "The Swing." Since it sounded like a lovely way to end the day- swaying back and forth on a swing over the plunging falls below, guess who naively volunteered to go first?

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I had no idea what the process was to get you into the swing. So we were told to climb up a ladder, get hooked up/suspended from a metal bar, and then were pulled back/up by a large, 15-passenger van until we were dangling/suspended over what felt like 100+ feet above the ground. At this point, it dawned on me (and my palms are already getting sweaty while even typing this) that this was not a gently swaying swing ride over the falls. Because when we were dropped/released from the car, it felt like I was plummeting to my death! I screamed like I've never screamed in my entire life. Hell, if you took every scream I've ever made on the last 50 roller coasters I've ever ridden on and combined them you wouldn't have equaled the terror-filled howling you heard me emit at that moment. Or the profanity. (Sorry kiddie spectators...).

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However, I don't want to insinuate that this miserable, wretched 'ride' is one that would be abhorred by all, because the lady I rode with from South Africa howled with delight and did it not once, but twice! (She volunteered to go again with Rich since I refused, and you need two people to balance the ride).

This is me and the brave, crazy South African woman being pulled backward by the van (we're not even halfway up to our final stop up in the air)

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Folks, I cannot impress upon you how this horrifying near free fall back to Earth has permanently weakened my poor, litte heart. The decision to ride this swing will make the very short list of the STUPIDEST THINGS I'VE EVER DONE IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE THAT I WILL, NEVER, EVER...EVER EVER EVER DO AGAIN.

Rich ended up opting to do it too, and agreed that the ride was twenty million times more terrifying than anything else we've ever done at an amusement park. And to top it off? The swinging back and forth made us want to vomit, so needless to say- it was a very long, quiet ride back home!

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Riding that swing reminded me, albeit in much lesser way, of just how sick/miserable I felt on my Vomit Tour Across America 2010 Tour! back in April. So please, I urge all of you- the very next time I make noises about wanting to ride 5 consecutive airlines, ride a cruise ship across the open sea, go on a car ride on a winding road or heaven help us- ride a giant swing from hell over the Umauma Falls...PLEASE- step forward, backhand me across the face, spit on me and remind me that I have terrible motion sickness. And now, a permamently weakened heart.

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I am determined to erase that swing ride my short and long term memory so that I can remember the day as just a wonderful birthday surprise from Rich filled with wonderful new experiences. We also have tons of super cool video footage that Rich (since I wasn't about to pry one of my cold, clammy hands off the ropes to hold a camera) took that I'll be trying to post over the next few days!

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So if you ever journey over to the Big Island, I would highly recommend hitting up The Umauma Falls (Zip Lining) Experience. It's a bit pricey at $189 pp (Kama'aina residents can sometimes get an additional discount), but because the tour encompasses nearly 4 hours over some of the most beautiful falls in the island (and world!), and offers the optional (shudder), but priceless, one of a kind swing experience, it's well worth it! Our guides were phenomenal, and everything was a well run, fine tuned machine from the moment of Rich's booking to the minute we left.

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Thank you Rich for the zip lining. Thank you mom and dad for watching Ryan all day. And thank you God for not making me throw up all the way home... Because we know it's possible.